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Psychology of Glasses

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guest 25 Feb 2015, 05:41

Hi Ellen

Haven't heard from you all on email....

Lenschat princess?Are you coming over?

Ellen 25 Feb 2015, 04:21


That's a strange question to ask but I suppose understandable given your experiences. I do concur with Melyssa though. Both my partner and I are very highly myopic and neither of us has ever been diagnosed with depression. Maybe you're just attracted to the type of girl who exhibits traits commensurate with bipolar or other types of depression such as BPD?


 24 Feb 2015, 21:13

Jerk yourself fuckhead...

It was a joke.

 24 Feb 2015, 19:19


 24 Feb 2015, 18:49

What is the cheerleaders "couch?

Soundmanpt 24 Feb 2015, 17:57

Sadly back when I was in school not only were the teachers boring but they were usually pretty old and far from good looking. Now the teachers often are hard to tell from the students. I know several very attractive teachers and they all either wear contacts or glasses.

Last year one them even ordered glasses from me. She totally surprised me when I met her because she was working as a server in a sports bar meaning she had to wear an outfit much like what Hooter girls wear. When she told me that she was not only a teacher but she taught high school history and was also the cheerleaders couch. No doubt that meant she was probably a cheerleader when she was in high school as well. She got married later that summer and never returned to her server job.

Melyssa 24 Feb 2015, 13:41

Confused: It's bad dates. I know a man who is married to a woman with a -9.00 prescription, and he tells me that she has inner beauty to match her outer beauty, and that being married to her is the greatest thing he's ever done. By some coincidence, that woman who wears close to 50 pairs of glasses spells her name the same as you see in front of the date and time of this post. :)

Melyssa 24 Feb 2015, 13:37

Likelenses: I was not that teacher. But had I been one, I would have worn three pairs of glasses a day, matching the color of the frames with the color of my dress. Of course, had I married someone in the optical field instead of a CPA, I would have had 100 pairs of glasses instead of close to 50. :)

Likelenses 22 Feb 2015, 21:20

When I was in the seventh,or eight grade in school,I had a teacher that was very pretty,and had most likely only been a year or so out of college.All of us young boys were in love with her.

The best part as far as I was concerned,was that she wore really strong minus glasses.

I don't recall if she announced it to the class,or if we found out some other way,but we learned that she had become engaged to a local optometrist.

Shorty thereafter she showed up in a different pair of glasses every few days. If my memory serves me correctly,it seems like she must have had thirty pairs of glasses that school year.

Later she married the optometrist,and disappeared from teaching.

Now fast forward to the present.For the past four or five years I have casually known a late fifties married couple.

He wears minus glasses of minus 3.50,or 4.00 in a rather generic frame,but she on the other hand must own twenty pairs.

She is tall ,thin,and very attractive,with a sexy self confidence,and her Rx must be minus 15,or so. Most of her frames have been expensive, small,to medium rectangular,and some of her lenses are most likely CR-39,as they are much chunkier than some of her others.

Last week she was sporting a pair of expensive looking wayfareer type frames,with disappointing high index lenses,but due to her age they may be a first pair of progressives.

On several occasions I have wanted to compliment her on her eye wear,but have not as her husband seems to hover around her kind of protectively,and they both know that I am a single guy.She is more outgoing,and verbally friendly than he.

I am pretty sure that he is OO,and he may suspect that I am also because he has probably noticed me checking out his wifes eye ware.

Soundmanpt 22 Feb 2015, 18:46

Crystal Veil

I'm sure you're right about at least a fair number of opticians having more than just the "it's a job" interest in glasses. For many years now, actually more than 40 in fact I have been in a non profit vision group that works to help those that are on low incomes and can't afford to get eye exams and glasses. At one time I was picking up donated glasses from about 35 optical stores, I have slowed down and now only collect from 22 locations near my home. In my early days of doing this I ofter came across really old gold semi-rimless glasses that were nothing more than 2 temples and a bridge piece screwed right into the glasses lenses. I couldn't help but notice the great detail work on the temples and once in a conversation with an older optometrist he told that not only was the frame real gold but the etching on the very thin temples was done by hand. These glasses were really pieces of art. Anyway I at first always just turned them because I was happy that someone in need was going to be getting them. One day I was chatting with someone higher up than I was and I commented about the gold glasses and how someone was getting a real treasure. He laughed and said that they never use those glasses and they only melted them down for the gold content and in many cases it wasn't very much because this was before gold became so expensive. I was shocked that these beautiful glasses were being destroyed so from then on I made a point to pull them out before they could be turned into scrap. After a while I had quite a few of them. A few years passed and I still had them and I well recall telling a young optician at a high end optical store about all of these glasses and how beautiful they were. She asked to see some of them. So the next time I was there making my pickup I remembered to bring in a nice selection of some of the nicer ones. She was truly excited to see these glasses because she had only seen glasses like these in pictures. She went through them all and tried many of them on after figuring out how to put on glasses with cable temples. She loved them so I told her she could have one if she wanted. You would have thought I was giving her a car or something. She went through and decided she liked a certain pair more than the others. She said she was going to have clear lenses made for them so she could wear them. But she admitted that the pair she picked out the lenses weren't all that strong. I made pickups about every 3 weeks and on my next pickup to her store she was in fact wearing my gifted glasses. I told her that she looked really nice wearing them. I asked her if her lab had any problem with drilling new lenses for her and she said she had decided that they really weren't that strong and she could see fine wearing them. She said she loved wearing nice fluffy sweaters and she thought wearing glasses would complete the look. After that I found even more that wanted those antique glasses. One girl made a display with them by taking an old book and opening it to around the center and placing the glasses opened in the middle of the pages. Another put them on a doll she had. Another optician that wanted to wear them with her prescription ruined tons of lens blanks trying to put notches where the temples had to slide over the lens. The problem was this was way before high index lenses and she had a rather strong prescription so she was trying to notch them by hand and it took many tries before she got them made. Sadly to be honest they really didn't look all that good with such think lenses. it wasn't long until I only was left with a few. I kept one pair that was made in 1943 and it is in mint condition. The really odd thing is that the rx is only +.25 in both lenses. I have a few more but they aren't nearly as nice.

Also you might be surprised at how many opticians enjoy over correcting themself. Back then I didn't know nearly as much about optics as I do now. One optician I now realize was without a doubt inducing myopia, other opticians called her a plastic addict because they knew she was always increasing her prescription over what she was prescribed by her doctor. I think that was the biggest benefit she got from being an optician because she could order her glasses in any prescription she wanted.

Soundmanpt 22 Feb 2015, 17:59

Revolver and astigmaphil

First off I am straight. If you had asked me my opinion of gays and lesbians 5 or 6 years ago you would have gotten a far different response from me. I think for some reason I had the idea that they were somehow so different that I could have easily spotted a gay person miles away. But it only took a young lesbian woman to change my feelings. She was and is very much out there, but she is she is also one one of the sweetest young ladies you could ever meet. She is a bartender and the patron's are all on the younger side and mostly male. Everyone that sits at her bar loves her and would not hesitate to come to her defense if she ever needed it. That was what changed my views. by the way she is very attractive and so is her mate.

confused. 22 Feb 2015, 12:49

I know this may sound crazy but has there even been a study done or any type of link found between people with high myopia and bipolar/depression? I only ask because my ex wife ( she ran off to battle her demons and attempt suicide 3 times and I took her back until I had enough) she was a minus 7.5. I dated another girl briefly and she could wig out at a minutes notice. Minus 6. another girl I dated basically the same thing minus 6.5 and my last encounter when the phone rang I never know if i had dr jekyl or mr hyde. All these girls confessed to me as having been diagnosed with ADHD/ Bipolar/ Manic depressive. I have a huge thing for high minus girls but have yet to find a sane one. is there a connection or just a string of bad dates for me? The weird thing was they all were pretty cool with my glassesfetish, hit me here or maybe an email.

 22 Sep 2014, 10:37

There are several women I know that I can talk about my interest in glasses with as well as one male friend who also wears glasses. We can talk about gwg or just wearing glasses, but other people I know have no interest and I know not to bring it up.

Crystal Veil 22 Sep 2014, 10:33

I would not be surprised if a minority within the vast group of opticians around the globe share our fascination with people in glasses without "coming out". Over the years, only one employee confessed to me that he had a glasses collection himself and that he sometimes took a pair of glasses from the boxes for the Third World in the shop. He probably felt safe to mention this to me.

Millhouse 22 Sep 2014, 04:40

- astigmaphile,

Only once have I ever mentioned my gwg interest to a female wearer I was keen on- to my cost - she totally freaked out over my admission and we never met again. So here (eyescene) is for time being my only accepted online retreat , not forgetting Crystal veil too of course and the thoughts, musings and comments of our other like minded global posters.

astigmaphile 21 Sep 2014, 10:37

I think that there is much more acceptance of the LGBT community that for unusual interests. Quite a few of my friens know of my obsession with ophthalmic optics and don't seem to be upset with it. In places where I think that it would cause trouble, I keep my mouth shut.

What I really hope , is that I never get coaght trying to figure out someone's spectacle correction. It is a favorite hobby. I have done it since grade school and I am now 68 years old.

Revolver 21 Sep 2014, 10:14

Carrie made an interesting comment on the Sightings thread to the effect that being gay has much more acceptance than having a fetish. That has long been my thought and wonder how others feel. Homosexuality by both genders seems to have almost universal acceptance, that's not to say that straights necessarily like it and sure don't want to engage in it but do accept it.

Would like to hear what others think, and in particular, ask the gays and lesbians if because of their sexual preferences they are more accepting of fetishes than straights.

Soundmanpt 13 Sep 2014, 10:32


The web site is "" You should be able to get your husband's glasses with the thinnest lenses and the AR coating (anti-reflective) for between $55.00 and $75.00. For your daughter as long as she is less than say -5.00 her glasses should be less than $25.00 and the same for your son.

If you were to decide to get glasses fro your self and you don't want fake ones you can order a pair with -.50 lenses which will actually just give you slightly better than 20/20 vision. This is is what your optometrist would prescribe you if you were to claim that you were having some problems with seeing clearly after dark while driving. just be sure to also get the $5.00 option of the AR coating which you would like because there wouldn't be any glare on your glasses which help make them very comfortable to wear.

Hope all this helped in some ways.

Soundmanpt 13 Sep 2014, 10:23

Mystery wife

No wonder you couldn't see much with your husband's glasses. His prescription is considered in the strong range by quite a bit. Anything over -7.00 is what they consider to be "strong"

Your intentions were good but it is very hard to order glasses for someone as a surprise. But I can give you some pointers that should help if you ever order glasses fro him, your daughter, son or yourself. Measure a pair of their glasses that fit them well across the face portion from the outside left to the outside right in millimeters. Then when your looking on line most of them will give an "overall width" just compare as close as possible and they should be a good fit. Also with such a strong prescription like that of your husband you should get the lens option of "high index" 1.67 option. With Zenni this option is an extra $35.00 but should make them much thinner. Also you didn't say how were able to get his rx for the glasses you ordered, but I hope you didn't use the rx off his contact lens packets. If you did his glasses are a little bit weaker than they should be. Because his contacts sit directly on his eyes and glasses sit about 3/4" away from his eyes his glasses need to be slightly stronger than his contacts. My guess is his glasses should be somewhere around -14.50.

Ordering glasses on line is completely safe if you go to places like Eyebuy Direct and Zenni Personally i really prefer Zenni and have used them for well over 10 years.

 13 Sep 2014, 08:50

My husband wears glasses but never to work or outside the house. He is very self conscious about them and hates wearing them. I've tried them on and it is quite a debilitating feeling. I can't see anything except for a big blur and can't walk 4 feet without almost falling down. He has told me besides the look of them he can't stand the lack of sight outside the glasses. His contact box says -13.75. Not sure how bad that is but by judging his glasses I would say it is pretty bad.

I used his prescription and bought him glasses online as a surprise a couple of years ago and didn't realize how much goes into selecting them. They came in and we laughed when he opened them up. They filed the edges flat and they looked very different from his pair. Thinner but there are circles inside the lenses and his skin reflects on the corners. He just started wearing them about 6 months ago when his other pair got an eggshell crack when he basically tossed them down after putting in his contacts one morning. I keep telling him to get another pair but he always opts for contacts because of insurance. Don't think it matters I think he only wears them 30 minutes a day. I'm not an optometrist but I know that's not good.

Our daughter seems to inherited his vision. She got glasses at 4 and has 6 month check ups and every time there has been an increase. She's now 7 and we are both a little worried. But she takes it well and it doesn't phase her a bit. She looks so cute in them and she wears them proudly from sun up to sun down. Although she needs to do a better job of cleaning them sometimes. Smudge city. We keep hoping for the appointment that says no change but it hasn't happened yet. Children are expensive and our insurance only covers 1 pair a year. I've considered online but not ready to trust overseas manufactures just yet.

Our son seems to inherited most of my 20/20 vision. He wears glasses to school to see the board but the doctor told me it is very mild and doesn't have to wear them all the time. He is 10 now so he is almost in the clear.

Anyway I didn't marry him for his vision. I knew he wore contacts when when we first met but hadn't seen him in glasses until we were dating about a year. I was a little surprised how thick they were and how small his eyes were. But by that time it really didn't matter. I adored him and thought he handsome with or without. I don't think it would of mattered if he was wearing them. The first couple of weeks our personalities gelled right away.

Sometimes I wish I wore glasses so I wouldn't be the oddball in our family. Not really, maybe just a very weak pair. My husband jokes putting my eyesight into the gene pool was a good thing for generations to come. I've heard him apologize to my daughter and I don't like it much. He shouldn't feel guilty just because his family had inherent bad eyesight. Hence why I came here under the psychology title to help understand it. Didn't see much but just thought I would share.

Soundmanpt 13 Sep 2014, 07:58

Tim H

She clearly likes you so without being too pushy you maybe able to slowly convince her to wear her glasses on other dates where it's just you and her. this will get her more comfortable about wearing her glasses. I'm sure she is not used to wearing her glasses out in public much if ever. She may feel less attractive wearing glasses and for her this was probably like the first day she got glasses and had to wear them for for that first time. You just need to keep reassuring her that she is just as beautiful with her glasses on as she is without them. Just be don't ever tell her that she looks better with glasses than without.

 12 Sep 2014, 20:03

It's to bad she doesn't wear her glasses more often so she wouldn't be as self conscious when she is forced to wear them. Since she wears contact lenses all the time, it probably is like wearing glasses for the first time every time she wears them in public. A friend of mines wife is -9.75 and -9.50 and usually wears contacts, but at least once a week she wears her glasses to work so everyone sees her in them and she doesn't feel weird or self conscious when she has to wear them. I've gone out with them when she has worn her glasses out in public and nobody looks at her any differently than they do to anyone else wearing glasses, it's to bad your gf doesn't realize it. Maybe with your help she will.

Tim H 12 Sep 2014, 11:48

I've just started dating a girl with a very strong prescription who wears contacts (-8.75) all the time. She showed me her glasses the fourth time I stayed the night at her place and they were stunning (and very strong). She was having some irritation with her contact one night when we met friends at a bar so I urged her to wear her glasses, which she surprisingly agreed to! She's usually really social and bubbly and talks to everyone. But this night she was so shy and reserved. One of my friends complemented her on them and she said a quiet thanks and looked down. She was so shy the entire night. I could tell she was self conscious about her appearance in them. She even kept pulling her hair forward as if to cover the sides. It's sad because she looked beautiful, they highlighted her face and her eyes.

agilpro 09 Sep 2014, 09:05


The myopic girl was probably 21 or 22 at the time and "wore" glasses that were very thick well over 1/2" thick and I was told by her boyfriend that she was in his words "severely nearsighted" and was embarrassed to be seen in her glasses and used them only when she absolutely had to. I met her while she was visiting my aunts vacation home on the water and the only time in the three days she was seen in her glasses was when we picked her up in the boat. As soon as we got on dry land she took them off and did not put them on again until she left. She was basically blind without them and would feel hand over hand to go anywhere if she was not with her bf. She also had no self esteem and you would have to drag anything out of her and it would come mostly in yes or no answers. Where we were it was dangerous to be going around without her glasses, especially at night: she had to navigate up and down 126 concrete stairs to get from the main house to the boathouse where she was staying and several times she fell or knocked things over. The sad part was she was good looking and didn't look to bad in her glasses.

Millhouse 09 Sep 2014, 05:05

- Bensmith

Your prescription is a little below mine (-7./-6.5)

I use high index lenses , about 1.6 as I seem to recall. Even so the edges come out quite thick on my current frames which are semi-rimless.

Your thoughts on low confidence being a wearer are nothing to worry about, I have found over the years (I'm 51 now) that women (or men for that matter) will be drawn to you by your inner confidence and glasses .

I believe that in past relationships I've had my gf's had a history of dating men in glasses, for example previous bf's or husbands had worn them, ( I got shown photos etc) or that they liked the clark Kent thing- whatever. My point is this; many women are very attracted to men in glasses, they will let you know one way or another, sometimes in subtle ways, anything anyone else tells you or advises you otherwise is not worth a jot. I months years trying to get used to contact lenses so I could go to a night club and get laid, or be a pick up guy on a night out. I know now what works for me, just be confident, friendly, and enjoy yourself. If you have a gf or wife then that's great but try not to waste emotional energy on negative thoughts about your appearance. I sure as hell don't.

I'm a guy who seeks out gwgs myself- so it seems obvious to me that women also seek out guys too- keep your eyes open when out and about and you'll see what I mean, they will keep training their eyes on you, peaking back and forth. You'll see. That's the trick that works for me- go up , chat, smile. Engage in conversation.

Peace to all. Long live GWG's O^O

Bensmith 09 Sep 2014, 01:54

Other people's thick glasses only cause positive feelings in me but I have to admit I'm self-conscious about my own prescription (around -6). My current frames looked really nice at the optician's but the minifying lenses change the look. My eyes look so small through them it's almost as if the frames were different. And the lenses are as thin as possible.

agilpro, could you tell us a little more about the myopic girl who wouldn't wear glasses? Sounds interesting.

agilpro 08 Sep 2014, 01:20

I think it's a matter of confidence you exhibit when wearing glasses and it doesn't make a huge difference whether they are thick or thin. If you are self conscious about your glasses it will show in your personality and give the impression that you aren't available or unapproachable. I have known people who were in the very high myopia range who carried themselves with confidence and you really didn't notice their glasses after the first meeting. I have also known people who just by their actions, you knew they were self conscious about their glasses and were very difficult to get to know and you kind of leave them standing there after awhile because you know they are to uncomfortable with talking to you. I met one highly myopic girl who would not wear her glasses and was in effect blind and because she could not see isolated herself by keeping herself in a corner or away from everyone else and was almost impossible to talk to. If you can act in a confident and assured manner, people will see beyond the glasses.

Eyestein 12 Aug 2014, 04:47

It's certainly got something to do with psychology. I can't figure out how people can be so rude even if they are under the influence of alcohol.

Carrie 11 Aug 2014, 19:03

Not sure if this is the best section to put this in but it seemed more right (?) than the other sections.

I was having a quiet drink with my girlfriend in a pub on Saturday - just the 2 of us in a corner away from the other people. After a short while 2 "lads" came over. They'd clearly had several drinks and saw 2 young women and thought they'd try their luck. We try to make it obvious we didn't want their company but they kept pestering us. I turned to one of them to politely ask him to leave us in peace. He said "Can I try your glasses on?" Before I could say "no" he had grabbed them off my face and put them on. That really pisses me off when someone does that. If a friend asks me and waits for an answer I will happily let them try my glasses on. He said "F*** me you're blind!" Gemma could see I was getting annoyed especially as the lad was in no hurry to give my glasses back. Then his mate thought he'd join in and tried to take Gemma's glasses off her face - he didn't get them but he did get a hard slap on his face from Gemma. The lad that took my glasses thought it was hilarious even though his mate was now far from happy. This distracted him enough for me to get my glasses back. I was getting quite angry by then. The lads detected this but just laughed. I then just flipped and shouted at them "Why don't you f*** right off?!" They still didn't get the message they weren't welcome and the 1st lad tried to get my glasses again! A member of the pub staff noticed we were getting hassled and politely but firmly asked the lads to leave us alone. He said to them "How would you like it if someone kept pestering you if you were having a quiet drink with a girlfriend?" I could see on their faces that they now realised we were a couple but instead of apologising the first one just said "F***ing 4-eyed lezzies!" so I replied with "Correct!" They left us and we carried on as we were before we were so rudely interrupted.

guest 25 Apr 2014, 08:43

Sooo Ellen,

Just be yourself ! You have your act together. Did you read the HB post I referred to earlier. Would love to have lunch when you are here with sis.

What do you do?


Melyssa 23 Apr 2014, 07:30


(1) I will be 58 next week and my eye doctor is checking every year to make sure my potential cataracts don't become problematic. I do have floaters here and there. The cataracts could be a result of medicine I've been taking for a lot of many years.

(2) I reckon I'm in the minority, because I have always felt so much more attractive in glasses, even with the thick lenses.

Ellen 23 Apr 2014, 06:56

guest, I'm not yet 38, I don't intend getting cataracts any time soon. If and when I do get cataracts, I will need my lenses removing and then it will maybe be time to get the right correction inserted in the form of IOLs. In the meantime I just couldn't bring myself to have my perfectly good lenses removed.

And. I'm quite confident generally anyway, I don't have a confidence issue talking to men or women. My point was that I just don't feel at my best while wearing -20 dioptre chunks of plastic in front of my eyes. I feel much more attractive without glasses. I'm guessing the majority of women would feel the same.

And 22 Apr 2014, 03:58

Ellen, is dating wearing glasses simply a confidence thing ? When you were younger and dating for the first time did you wear glasses full time ? Meeting someone new can be daunting but I'm sure most of us males dont just 'judge' on a pair of glasses - personality, hair, body shape, clothes, voice, piercings. tattoos, blimey the list goes on. Be yourself. If you think a fella should see your eyes without lenses take off your glasses and give them a clean whilst still looking at him. My gf hid the fact that she was pretting blind for ages by wearing contacts all the time but she looks fab in glasses too.

guest 15 Apr 2014, 17:14


your last post proves you are sane..... and maybe you have been listening to me lol :)

Did you think about the cataract thing???

Are you still thinking about crossing the "pond" soon?

Hope so!

have a good night

Soundmanpt 15 Apr 2014, 15:26


I think like myself there are a fair number of what I would call regulars that come in here on a regular basis. I know I have been coming here on a very regular basis since about 2005. Actually the funny thing was for some time before that I was reading all the posts and comments but I didn't know how to get into make comments for a while. I never have much of a computer guy.

Why wouldn't you invite your sister to come on board as well? She certainly doesn't seem to mind talking about her glasses and her vision. It can't hurt to invite her in and let her decide if she likes it or not. My guess is she may find she likes it as much as you or even more.

Ellen 15 Apr 2014, 13:59

Hi Guest. My, youíre in trouble if youíre relying on me to provide a little sanity!

I do drop into this site now and then and I have wanted to post but wasnít sure what to write. One observation Iíve made is that there seem to be a lot of people who dip into this site and provide a flurry of posts and then disappear. Itís as though they need their ďfixĒ and then the OO thing subsides a little. Is that how this obsession works? Does it ebb and flow? Of course there may be a host of other reasons for this and I may be wide of the mark and not for the first time.

I notice that a lot of you have been going gaga over a young American girl who has taken down her Instagram site. What struck me was that her glasses look to be very similar in strength to mine but she looks gorgeous in hers. Itís inspired me to visit my optician and look at a more adventurous frame. Iím nowhere near as pretty as her so Iím starting at a lower base but Iíll see how it works out.

I was with my sister the other night, drinking wine after her kids had gone to bed. For some reason we got to talking about our glasses. She confided that her husband seems to like her in glasses or more specifically without them, in squinting mode. I tried to appear surprised and completely guileless about this but was tempted to point her in the direction of this site. Slightly the worse for drink, we got onto comparing what we could see without our glasses. This was quite interesting in that even though my prescription is over twice hers, functionally there wasnít a huge difference between us. We could both just about see where the TV was and if the whole screen was filled someoneís face she could tell that it was a face and usually whether it was male or female whereas I struggled with that. The distance at which we could see things clearly was very similar, her about 5 inches me about 3 inches. We even swapped glasses and though I was as blind as a bat in hers, she could make her eyes focus a little in mine and said at a push she could function in them although things were still very blurry. We used to do this as kids and back then my prescription was perhaps -10 compared to her -3 or so. The difference then was huge and she was always so amazed at how blind I was.

guest 13 Apr 2014, 17:23

Hello Ellen...

Where are you, we need your sane comments back!

The site is getting out of control.

did you read mine?



SZ6 27 Mar 2014, 19:20

Hi Ellie,

Could you expound a bit on your glasses fetish and how it manifests itself? As you can probably tell, this board is predominantly men with fetishes for women in glasses. From what you have shared so far, it sounds like you fetishize your own glasses (and maybe your extreme myopia) - does your own need for strong/thick glasses play into your sexuality and sex life? Some of the highly myopic men who post here enjoy getting glasses that emphasize the severity of their prescription, with lenses as thick as possible instead of thin ones. If be curious to understand if your mind works this way as well - seems to be a bit of a rarity among the fairer sex.

Ellie 27 Mar 2014, 16:52

Hi all, thanks for your comments.

And, what kind of comments do you make / questions do you ask your girlfriend of her vision?

Puffin, I tend to get new glasses once a year and I don't wear them in public very often, so it doesn't bother me too much that my lenses are so thick. It's true that I would probably wear my glasses more often if I had thinner lenses, but it's not too big of a deal at this point.

Later on though, when my increases start to slow down, I would definitely like to get some really nice thinner lenses like the 1.74 hi-index or even the 1.9 lenses that I've heard great things about.

Has anyone on this page gotten the 1.9 lenses before and have anything they want to share about them?

In regards to Puffin's question, I perceive "thickness" as any lens that protrudes past the limits of the frame. This obviously doesn't hold as true with metal frames (more so with plastic frames).

Puffin 26 Mar 2014, 09:07

The other thing about choosing certain frames to hide lens thickness is this: especially before hi-index lenses, it's still pretty obvious (by looking at it from the front) that a lens is strong, and by implication is known to be thick whether the lens thickness is visible or not.

You have to wonder if all this is worth it: for a vague impression that it's not as strong as it really is - for a lens 1 or 2 mm thinner, but still "thick" - or a lens that only looks strong from certain angles.

Puffin 26 Mar 2014, 09:00

Crystal Veil

I realise much has changed since say the 70's and 80's when quite a bit of thickness was accepted (if not exactly welcomed), and quite a lot of people these days are either unaware of what things were like then, or have forgotten, so that today's idea of "thickness" (as in thick enough to be called thick) is probably not the same as before. It's as if the "going rate" of thickness has changed (ie diminished).

Even - is there some maximum thickness of "non-thick" lenses, even approximately? How much is too much?

And 26 Mar 2014, 08:12

Ellie, my gf didn't reveal her poor eyesight for months and months - she would sleep in her contacts whenever we spent a night together. She's now far more relaxed about putting her glasses on around the house but is still really self-concious if I ask her about her eyesight.

Crystal Veil 26 Mar 2014, 08:11


interesting question. Much depends on the frame of the glasses. Back in the 1970's and early 1980's, before the arrival of high index lenses, many large frames were designed to be fitted with strong minus lenses. A lens could be 10 or 11 millimeters thick but this was neatly hidden by the way the solid frame folded back towards the arms. Some modern frames by Zenni have that same quality. I always order Zenni glasses with standard 1.57 lenses, Rx usually -8.00 but sometimes around -12. It's amazing to see the difference made by the frame choice. In some glasses the lenses are 7 or 8 millimeters and they really look thick. In other glasses the lenses are 10 or 11 millimeters and they don't look really thick. Of course, much also depends on individual perception and taste.

Puffin 26 Mar 2014, 07:13


mmm,I take it your glasses are getting stronger fast enough not to go for higher index (1.74) at the moment? In the same calculator, the difference seems to be an "almighty" 1.3 mm.

Or is it just you're not worried about that odd millimetre or so here and there? Some people are prepared to pay quite a bit more for not very much, with the right frame they can shave off that millimetre effectively for nothing (smaller frames) next time they buy new frames anyway. Or else some people just accept that pesky extra mm without fussing about it.

Here's a question (for anyone), how thick does a lens have to be before it becomes labelled "thick" - 7mm? 10mm? 12mm?

Ellie 25 Mar 2014, 20:04

Puffin, I have the 1.67 hi-index lenses and my glasses for the past couple of years have always been fairly thick.

I checked on the lens thickness calculator to see if the thickness of my lenses seems appropriate.

Here is an image of my query:

Puffin 25 Mar 2014, 19:49

that seems a bit thick these days for -14 (?)

Ellie 25 Mar 2014, 18:45

Hello everyone, I have been dating my current boyfriend for about two months now, and I wanted to share some of my experiences regarding his reaction to my glasses.

My prescription is in the -14 range with some astigmatism and I have plastic frames with lenses a little thicker than a centimeter. I almost always wear contacts out in public. Back home and in the college dorms, I change into glasses at night and sometimes wear glasses throughout the day if I don't have plans.

I've never really dated anyone seriously before or spent the night with them, so it was interesting to see how my boyfriend reacted to my glasses when I wore them in front of him for the first time. We had been dating for maybe about a month until I wore them around him. I had hinted that I had poor eyesight and he had asked me before how much I could see when I had my contacts out. (He also wears glasses, but with a much weaker prescription in the -2 range.) He expressed amazement when I showed him how close I had to hold his phone to my eyes before I could properly make out the words, but never teased me or said anything degrading about my vision.

I finally brought my glasses to his place after spending the night many times and I let him try them on and see them. He held them out at arm's length and said that he could only see clearly through them when they were that far away and that everything looked so tiny! He also tried them on briefly but said that he couldn't see anything through them, so took them off soon after.

Since the first time, he's seen me in glasses maybe three or four more times but has never really brought up the topic of glasses with me to either say anything bad or particularly good about them. He has mentioned that I seem a lot more cautious when I'm wearing them as opposed to when I just have my contacts in and has asked me occasionally how much I can see with/without, but that is the extent of it.

I guess I'm just happy to know that he treats me the same whether I am wearing glasses or contacts. I don't know...I guess this might seem like a strange experience to share, but ever since I was little I viewed wearing glasses with a stigma attached to it, especially wearing really strong glasses like mine. I'm surprised that my boyfriend is completely fine with my poor eyesight. I guess I shouldn't really be surprised, but growing up with the mindset that I did, I wasn't sure if anyone could really accept me or see me the same way with and without my glasses. Granted, my boyfriend and I met and got to know each other while I was wearing contacts, so I guess it might have been different if I had been wearing my glasses when we first met. I'm thoroughly happy that he hasn't shown any signs of a negative reaction in the least, but sometimes I wish he could seem them like the sexual object that I view them as. Not sure when would be a good time to bring up that I have a glasses fetish, or what his reaction would be to my confession!

Likelenses 24 Mar 2014, 21:35

Where oh where is the elusive Ellen?

Galileo 20 Mar 2014, 15:42

Hi Cactus Jack - see these articles. Whilst retinal detachment and cataracts are completely different phenomena they are both associated with high myopia.

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