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Psychology of Glasses

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Soundmanpt 24 Feb 2018, 19:30

Jake

Somehow I think most everyone in eyescene has a glasses fetish of some type. To have a real serious relationship with your girlfriend I think you simply need to be honest with her about your fetish that is is if think her wearing glasses more often or even full time and especially during sex will help your fetch as well as stimulate you more in bed with her. If she really loves you I don't think she will have any objection to wearing her instead of contacts. She probably only wears contacts because she feels that she is more appealing to men without her glasses. In other words I don't really think the problem is you but more about you being honest with her. Over the years at least 6 or 7 women knew I had what they called a thing for women wearing glasses. They just didn't know their was name for it. I'm sure they thought it was weird but they didn't seem to mind wearing their glasses more often including in bed. I also tried dating non glasses wearers but I quickly lost interest in them. I'm sure it was because they didn't wear glasses.


Lou 24 Feb 2018, 13:16

Hi

Something mildly amusing happened earlier. Since me and my husband both wear glasses full-time, my four year old daughter keeps saying that she wants glasses. I was today visiting another town which has a Claire's Accessories, and we went in to look at the hair accessories and jewellery. I spotted several pairs of fashion glasses, basically a ray ban style in black, with a choice of different side colours/patterns. My daughter chose a pair with pink translucent sides. She looks rather cute in them.

Anyway, she wanted me to try them on. Although a little on the narrow side, they just about fitted. As I turned to show her how they looked on me, I caught sight of the digital clock on the telly, and thought, "These glasses aren't right, the clock isn't properly in focus.", before remembering that they are of course non-prescription. Silly me!

All the best

Lou


 02 Feb 2018, 09:16

thanks. sometimes websites need an email address to stop ad blocking and send me stupid shit i don't want. i'll just use this yours.


tinyeyes 02 Feb 2018, 07:12

I realize I gave an incorrect email address. It’s tinyeyes2@hotmail.com.


GreginColo 01 Feb 2018, 22:54

Thanks tineyes for your thoughts in followup to Jake's original posts, which I also found very interesting and can certainly relate to. I can also very much relate to what you said about generational differences. I came of age before internet porn, so while my (very) secret interest and fascination was myopic guys, but much of it was left to my own imagination, and certainly not something I could ever share with anyone else. I was pretty certain there was no one else in the world who held this strange fascination for myopic guys.

One of the beauties of the internet is learning there are other guys with similar interests. And as you mentioned, due to the efforts of others with such interest, it is much easier today to find sites dedicated to myopic men, to help complete the fantasy. It no doubt has been a driver of my life, and who I might look for in a relationship. As one looks at people for personal relationships, there are certainly many factors to consider, but a guy with thick minus glasses sure adds to the attractiveness of a guy, to me anyway. Hard to understand, hard to explain, but hope I am making sense to some of you.


Cactus Jack 01 Feb 2018, 21:14

tinyeyes,

Usually, multiple posts are caused by the server being slow to physically accept your post. There is a clue that your post will be accepted, when the server gets around to it, is that the "Submit" button changes to a Blue Background with a White "Submit".

Sometimes it changes to Blue very briefly and other times it changes to the Blue background until it is uploaded. If you see the Blue background, don't click again until you are sure that it has not uploaded.

C.


tinyeyes 01 Feb 2018, 20:14

Well, somehow my post got multi-posted. can someone please delete all but one?


tinyeyes 01 Feb 2018, 20:13

Hi Jake,

Your post was so interesting! I'm gay but have experienced many of the same things you talk about in my life. I have also wondered if fantasizing about glasses and fixating on that was robbing me of better sex and relationships. I don't really have a clear answer, and I almost don't want to know, but I have a feeling it's affected me, but also, the fetish is part of me, so I could never run away from it entirely.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you something I only heard of recently, called "NoFap". Basically, this is a movement that involves guys trying to stop looking at pornography and stop masturbating (one or the other or both). It's not so much for religious or moral reasons, but more for "real life" improvement. When I heard about it I was shocked, but I can see how this could be good for those guys who really do it. Look up NoFap and you will find a lot about it out there, including a lot of YouTube bloggers talking about it. I'm not personally doing this, but it seems to speak to many of the concerns that you have. Easier said than done, of course!

Another interesting thing that I came across when I researched Nofap is that this porn addiction thing is very different, and maybe more pronounced, for younger guys, because they've always had internet porn available since they hit puberty. For older guys, even if they use it a lot now, it wasn't available at a younger age so there was a time when they had to use their imaginations a lot more. It's hard to imagine, but maybe that was a good thing! And, it may be easier for older guys to "get off" the porn if that's what they want to do, than for younger guys.

I can definitely remember a time when I had to fuel my fantasies with my own thoughts, drawings I would make, stories I read (including here on Eyescene in the early days) or memories of people I met. Totally different from now, when I can find a wide selection of guys with thick glasses on Instagram or Tumblr or whatever.

Hope this helps in some way! Feel free to email me at tinyeyes@hotmail.com.


tinyeyes 01 Feb 2018, 20:13

Hi Jake,

Your post was so interesting! I'm gay but have experienced many of the same things you talk about in my life. I have also wondered if fantasizing about glasses and fixating on that was robbing me of better sex and relationships. I don't really have a clear answer, and I almost don't want to know, but I have a feeling it's affected me, but also, the fetish is part of me, so I could never run away from it entirely.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you something I only heard of recently, called "NoFap". Basically, this is a movement that involves guys trying to stop looking at pornography and stop masturbating (one or the other or both). It's not so much for religious or moral reasons, but more for "real life" improvement. When I heard about it I was shocked, but I can see how this could be good for those guys who really do it. Look up NoFap and you will find a lot about it out there, including a lot of YouTube bloggers talking about it. I'm not personally doing this, but it seems to speak to many of the concerns that you have. Easier said than done, of course!

Another interesting thing that I came across when I researched Nofap is that this porn addiction thing is very different, and maybe more pronounced, for younger guys, because they've always had internet porn available since they hit puberty. For older guys, even if they use it a lot now, it wasn't available at a younger age so there was a time when they had to use their imaginations a lot more. It's hard to imagine, but maybe that was a good thing! And, it may be easier for older guys to "get off" the porn if that's what they want to do, than for younger guys.

I can definitely remember a time when I had to fuel my fantasies with my own thoughts, drawings I would make, stories I read (including here on Eyescene in the early days) or memories of people I met. Totally different from now, when I can find a wide selection of guys with thick glasses on Instagram or Tumblr or whatever.

Hope this helps in some way! Feel free to email me at tinyeyes@hotmail.com.


tinyeyes 01 Feb 2018, 20:13

Hi Jake,

Your post was so interesting! I'm gay but have experienced many of the same things you talk about in my life. I have also wondered if fantasizing about glasses and fixating on that was robbing me of better sex and relationships. I don't really have a clear answer, and I almost don't want to know, but I have a feeling it's affected me, but also, the fetish is part of me, so I could never run away from it entirely.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you something I only heard of recently, called "NoFap". Basically, this is a movement that involves guys trying to stop looking at pornography and stop masturbating (one or the other or both). It's not so much for religious or moral reasons, but more for "real life" improvement. When I heard about it I was shocked, but I can see how this could be good for those guys who really do it. Look up NoFap and you will find a lot about it out there, including a lot of YouTube bloggers talking about it. I'm not personally doing this, but it seems to speak to many of the concerns that you have. Easier said than done, of course!

Another interesting thing that I came across when I researched Nofap is that this porn addiction thing is very different, and maybe more pronounced, for younger guys, because they've always had internet porn available since they hit puberty. For older guys, even if they use it a lot now, it wasn't available at a younger age so there was a time when they had to use their imaginations a lot more. It's hard to imagine, but maybe that was a good thing! And, it may be easier for older guys to "get off" the porn if that's what they want to do, than for younger guys.

I can definitely remember a time when I had to fuel my fantasies with my own thoughts, drawings I would make, stories I read (including here on Eyescene in the early days) or memories of people I met. Totally different from now, when I can find a wide selection of guys with thick glasses on Instagram or Tumblr or whatever.

Hope this helps in some way! Feel free to email me at tinyeyes@hotmail.com.


tinyeyes 01 Feb 2018, 20:13

Hi Jake,

Your post was so interesting! I'm gay but have experienced many of the same things you talk about in my life. I have also wondered if fantasizing about glasses and fixating on that was robbing me of better sex and relationships. I don't really have a clear answer, and I almost don't want to know, but I have a feeling it's affected me, but also, the fetish is part of me, so I could never run away from it entirely.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you something I only heard of recently, called "NoFap". Basically, this is a movement that involves guys trying to stop looking at pornography and stop masturbating (one or the other or both). It's not so much for religious or moral reasons, but more for "real life" improvement. When I heard about it I was shocked, but I can see how this could be good for those guys who really do it. Look up NoFap and you will find a lot about it out there, including a lot of YouTube bloggers talking about it. I'm not personally doing this, but it seems to speak to many of the concerns that you have. Easier said than done, of course!

Another interesting thing that I came across when I researched Nofap is that this porn addiction thing is very different, and maybe more pronounced, for younger guys, because they've always had internet porn available since they hit puberty. For older guys, even if they use it a lot now, it wasn't available at a younger age so there was a time when they had to use their imaginations a lot more. It's hard to imagine, but maybe that was a good thing! And, it may be easier for older guys to "get off" the porn if that's what they want to do, than for younger guys.

I can definitely remember a time when I had to fuel my fantasies with my own thoughts, drawings I would make, stories I read (including here on Eyescene in the early days) or memories of people I met. Totally different from now, when I can find a wide selection of guys with thick glasses on Instagram or Tumblr or whatever.

Hope this helps in some way! Feel free to email me at tinyeyes@hotmail.com.


tinyeyes 01 Feb 2018, 20:13

Hi Jake,

Your post was so interesting! I'm gay but have experienced many of the same things you talk about in my life. I have also wondered if fantasizing about glasses and fixating on that was robbing me of better sex and relationships. I don't really have a clear answer, and I almost don't want to know, but I have a feeling it's affected me, but also, the fetish is part of me, so I could never run away from it entirely.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you something I only heard of recently, called "NoFap". Basically, this is a movement that involves guys trying to stop looking at pornography and stop masturbating (one or the other or both). It's not so much for religious or moral reasons, but more for "real life" improvement. When I heard about it I was shocked, but I can see how this could be good for those guys who really do it. Look up NoFap and you will find a lot about it out there, including a lot of YouTube bloggers talking about it. I'm not personally doing this, but it seems to speak to many of the concerns that you have. Easier said than done, of course!

Another interesting thing that I came across when I researched Nofap is that this porn addiction thing is very different, and maybe more pronounced, for younger guys, because they've always had internet porn available since they hit puberty. For older guys, even if they use it a lot now, it wasn't available at a younger age so there was a time when they had to use their imaginations a lot more. It's hard to imagine, but maybe that was a good thing! And, it may be easier for older guys to "get off" the porn if that's what they want to do, than for younger guys.

I can definitely remember a time when I had to fuel my fantasies with my own thoughts, drawings I would make, stories I read (including here on Eyescene in the early days) or memories of people I met. Totally different from now, when I can find a wide selection of guys with thick glasses on Instagram or Tumblr or whatever.

Hope this helps in some way! Feel free to email me at tinyeyes@hotmail.com.


tinyeyes 01 Feb 2018, 20:13

Hi Jake,

Your post was so interesting! I'm gay but have experienced many of the same things you talk about in my life. I have also wondered if fantasizing about glasses and fixating on that was robbing me of better sex and relationships. I don't really have a clear answer, and I almost don't want to know, but I have a feeling it's affected me, but also, the fetish is part of me, so I could never run away from it entirely.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you something I only heard of recently, called "NoFap". Basically, this is a movement that involves guys trying to stop looking at pornography and stop masturbating (one or the other or both). It's not so much for religious or moral reasons, but more for "real life" improvement. When I heard about it I was shocked, but I can see how this could be good for those guys who really do it. Look up NoFap and you will find a lot about it out there, including a lot of YouTube bloggers talking about it. I'm not personally doing this, but it seems to speak to many of the concerns that you have. Easier said than done, of course!

Another interesting thing that I came across when I researched Nofap is that this porn addiction thing is very different, and maybe more pronounced, for younger guys, because they've always had internet porn available since they hit puberty. For older guys, even if they use it a lot now, it wasn't available at a younger age so there was a time when they had to use their imaginations a lot more. It's hard to imagine, but maybe that was a good thing! And, it may be easier for older guys to "get off" the porn if that's what they want to do, than for younger guys.

I can definitely remember a time when I had to fuel my fantasies with my own thoughts, drawings I would make, stories I read (including here on Eyescene in the early days) or memories of people I met. Totally different from now, when I can find a wide selection of guys with thick glasses on Instagram or Tumblr or whatever.

Hope this helps in some way! Feel free to email me at tinyeyes@hotmail.com.


tinyeyes 01 Feb 2018, 20:13

Hi Jake,

Your post was so interesting! I'm gay but have experienced many of the same things you talk about in my life. I have also wondered if fantasizing about glasses and fixating on that was robbing me of better sex and relationships. I don't really have a clear answer, and I almost don't want to know, but I have a feeling it's affected me, but also, the fetish is part of me, so I could never run away from it entirely.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you something I only heard of recently, called "NoFap". Basically, this is a movement that involves guys trying to stop looking at pornography and stop masturbating (one or the other or both). It's not so much for religious or moral reasons, but more for "real life" improvement. When I heard about it I was shocked, but I can see how this could be good for those guys who really do it. Look up NoFap and you will find a lot about it out there, including a lot of YouTube bloggers talking about it. I'm not personally doing this, but it seems to speak to many of the concerns that you have. Easier said than done, of course!

Another interesting thing that I came across when I researched Nofap is that this porn addiction thing is very different, and maybe more pronounced, for younger guys, because they've always had internet porn available since they hit puberty. For older guys, even if they use it a lot now, it wasn't available at a younger age so there was a time when they had to use their imaginations a lot more. It's hard to imagine, but maybe that was a good thing! And, it may be easier for older guys to "get off" the porn if that's what they want to do, than for younger guys.

I can definitely remember a time when I had to fuel my fantasies with my own thoughts, drawings I would make, stories I read (including here on Eyescene in the early days) or memories of people I met. Totally different from now, when I can find a wide selection of guys with thick glasses on Instagram or Tumblr or whatever.

Hope this helps in some way! Feel free to email me at tinyeyes@hotmail.com.


specs4ever 17 Jan 2018, 06:36

well - my name is of course not Jake - I hate to tell you this, but from my experiences over the years your glasses fetish is not going to diminish. In fact it is going to get worse as you get older if my life is any guideline. I found I liked glasses at an early age - grade 1 for sure as my grade 1 and grade 2 teacher(same one both grades) wore very strong minus glasses and I was fascinated by them. As time went on i found I was attracted to the girls in school that wore glasses, or had just gotten glasses. I dated as much as possible - girls that wore glasses for the most part. I married a girl who wore glasses, but only when she wasn't wearing contacts. Throughout our marriage she wore glasses less and less, and finally had lasik surgery, so no more glasses for me. But during my years of marriage my glasses fetish - or obsession increased. Now my dream girl needs to have at least a -15D or better prescription.

I often wonder if I had met and married a girl with a high prescription who did not wear contacts if I would have nipped my obsession in the bud. Or, possibly it might have made it stronger even earlier.

If you do reach your goal of around -10D, and if you do find a girlfriend/wife who wears strong glasses or contacts, possibly you might be able to concentrate on other things. I hope this does work out for you, as I have had this fetish thing for at least 65 years. And Jake, pardon my sarcasm about your name at the beginning. No one here expects you to use your real name.


Weirdeyes 17 Jan 2018, 01:28

It seems like I keep getting “karma” whenever I make less than kind observations about people’s glasses in my head. One time there was this guy who said he only wears glasses because he has bad vision in one eye. This was before I wore glasses, so I pitied him. I was glad I had good vision in both eyes. Which I found out wasn’t true. I guess that explained my sport phobia.

Another time was when I was looking at this guy’s glasses. He had some pretty strong astigmatism correction in one eye. I thought it was so weird how things looked squished through one lens. I ended up needing some pretty strong cyl.

Another time was when I was joking around with some over the counter reading glasses. I did wear glasses, but they were pretty weak. I thought the +4.00 glasses were so thick. I later ended up needing that prescription later on. Another thing that I remember was this girl who wore thick wire rim plus glasses. I thought they were super thick and strong, but I didn’t say anything. I wore +3.25 in my left eye at the time. I later overheard her saying they were +5.00. Now it looks like my prescription might change to that.


JerryJingle 05 Jan 2018, 06:35

Jake - hope you've had a good 2018 so far.

I'd like to email regarding the points you articulated, if you are still up for it.


JerryJingle 02 Jan 2018, 07:23

Jake,

Pretty much everything you've written thus far reflects my life as a high myope and a glasses fetishist. I'm a straight male in my late 30's and I struggle daily with the same desires and challenges you articulate.

I would love to correspond via email and/or chat to discuss coping mechanisms and how to deal our fetish in the context of "normal," healthy romantic relationships.

Please email me at jerryjingle2442@gmail.com - hope to hear from you.

"Jerry"


Dave 02 Jan 2018, 04:38

Jake,

I'm a low minus contacts wearer (-3), too vain to wear glasses for work. And yet, I fantasize constantly about becoming a full-time wearer and/or having sex with bespectacled women (my girlfriend is sadly only a part-time wearer). Have you tried having sex while wearing glasses? The only time I wear my glasses full-time is at weekends or on vacation. Luckily, these are the times when I have sex! Making love while wearing glasses is a real turn-on. My girlfriend has never questioned it - I'm sure she thinks I've forgotten to take them off! I'm sure ditching the contacts and going full-time with glasses would cure me of my fetish, but I don't think I would want that particularly.


William 01 Jan 2018, 09:27

Happy New Year. Jake hope all is well.


Kingsmen 01 Jan 2018, 03:04

Jake, you can email me at miketanner2012@yahoo.com if you like.


GreginColo 31 Dec 2017, 10:50

Jake, I would also like to share some more private correspondence if you are ok with such. I am in the US, mountain time zone, and like you try to not let it dominate my life, but it sometimes does. My email is gbruny@hotmail.com. Thanks, Greg.


Kevin 31 Dec 2017, 08:59

Jake - I have a pair of thick semi-rimless glasses. Would love to show you sometime.


William 31 Dec 2017, 08:44

williammorris48@outlook.com


Jake 31 Dec 2017, 08:23

William and Greg, thanks a million for the kind and thoughtful responses. Just hearing that other have had similar experiences is infinitely helpful.

William: I'd be thrilled to correspond via e-mail. Unfortunately all of my e-mail addresses have my last name or University name; if you could give me yours or one you have for such correspondence I'll shoot you an e-mail. Thanks again for sharing your experiences and advice, which I will readily implement.

I'm sensitive to the fact that this site is not a forum for people to rant about their lives, so I'll allow myself one more long-ish post to share some more info. I would be very grateful at the opportunity to update eyescene on my progress, as despite its recent ups-and-downs I do love this community.

I've more or less come to terms with the fact that this is a part of me. I've considered GOC but I get plenty aroused from my own glasses - especially given that my prescription is still rising by at least -1 a year and will probably hit -10.

As William pointed out, my goal would be to reach a state where I not only can deliver in bed but - much more importantly for me at this point - where my fetish isn't dominating my life. It is, in many ways, like an addiction that's even more hardwired than classic addictions like alcoholism: my rational brain tells me that I have an amazing life, that I've been dealt a good hand and can go very far. But the slightest fantasy, or thought of checking eyescene, or even sometimes getting a comment on my own glasses (I wear contacts a lot of the time) and it's game over. I'm especially aroused by semi-rimless frames with thick lenses and by the thought of someone wearing thick glasses and still needing an increase. Just writing these words already makes me aroused. It's gotten that "bad".

All of this leads to constant fantasizing and self-gratification; I just cannot help myself most of the time. Not only is it a massive time sink, my biggest concern is that it's negatively impacting my non-sexual life: it's impacted my sharpness, my sleep, and my sanity. I'm not even as much concerned about real-life sightings as I am with internet content. I can literally get off on the same video a hundred times, and I'm pretty sure us glasses fetishists can get aroused a lot faster from glasses than "normal" people from conventional things.

As much as I've denied it to myself, I think it's clear to me that this addiction is what's stopping me from living a fulfilled life. Nothing more and nothing less.

Again, both the responses so far have been amazing. Any other thoughts, or shared experiences are of course much appreciated.

Thanks,

J


GreginColo 31 Dec 2017, 07:33

Hi "Jake", thanks for your candid and heartfelt post. While I likely don't have any answers for you, but rather empathy, as likely with others who enjoy this site will have. Whether our personal sexual orientation is straight, gay, or somewhere in between, the added impact of the visual fetish side of it can, as you know, become quite strong. In my case it began, or at least the first memory of being aware of it, was in 2nd grade.

I began wearing glasses myself in 4th grade with a a myopic progression very similar to yours. Decades later I had lasik surgery to correct my myopia, thinking that might reduce or eliminate the fetish if my own vision required little or no correction. Well that certainly was not the case and now I regret the surgery, but not enough to try and have it reversed. So I guess it's kind of a self-acceptance of something that will likely not change for you, as well as finding an accepting partner, who while may not understand that part of you, at least accepts it, as the prior poster mentioned was the case for him. Best of luck to you and I hope you keep in touch and us apprised to your life journey. Regards, Greg (real name).


William 31 Dec 2017, 06:37

Hi Jake,

You could so easily have been talking about me six years ago. My fetish before meeting a girlfriend was self contained and very private. I experienced exactly the same as you described, sex brought a new crisis.

I would like to say to you I have cured myself but that is not true. I tried denial of the fetish but my performance in bed was still unsatisfactory.

My natural Rx is similar,-8.5/-9, and I found wearing my glasses during sex helped a bit. I decided to buy cheap online glasses with a higher Rx and managed to get to-13 with bifocals for reading. This was an improvement as I liked to wear them in bed.

A breakthrough came when the following year I started wearing plus contacts and stronger glasses, myodiscs gave a terrific boost. By now my girlfriend, now my wife, began asking about my glasses. The final step was to confide in her. Rather than take the mick she was supportive and treats them like my personal sex toy.

Sex is great, we have a son and another baby due soon. I GOC fulltime and during sex and it is not an issue. I stuck with the idea of using gas permeable contacts and suffered agony until now I keep them in a whole week. I wear powerful myodiscs everywhere.

I am not cured, just managing my condition. There are times I lose it. Before Christmas I was on a train from Oxford to London. A man got on and sat opposite, he was wearing sunglasses and I took little notice. When the train left the station he took off his sunglasses and put them in a case. He then slowly took out a pair of glasses which immediately caught my eye, myodiscs. He cleaned them and put them on, wow such strong glasses rarely seen in public. Instantly I was rock hard and very uncomfortable. Without thinking I blurted out that I liked his glasses and they were similar to mine. Somewhat surprised he agreed and we chatted about myodiscs. His were regular myos mine my preferred myos in a plus carrier. He had wanted to change to plus carriers but had never tried any. We exchanged glasses and wow our Rx's very similar in early -30 region. I ejaculated bigtime and tried to control by gritting my teeth. So this shows I am not cured but almost in control.

Ask any questions. If you prefer we could email.


Jake 31 Dec 2017, 01:11

Hi Folks,

As a disclaimer, this is going to be a long post and an appeal for help. If you're not in the mood to hear a rant, feel free to skip. But any help would be greatly appreciated. Most people would laugh at what I'm about to share, but if anyone can understand my predicament it's this community. I'm also going to share a lot of intimate details, but at this point I don't give a shit (my name is of course not Jake).

I am a male college student in my early twenties. By most standards, I've had a successful life: good grades, good university, I've gone very far in extracurriculars, I have a great circle of friends, and this year I met the girl of my dreams. Caveat one: my life is getting progressively more stressful, as I'm working to pay my share of the tuition, taking difficult classes, trying to manage my social life, and trying to decide on a career path. If you meet me, you'll probably think of me as a normal, solid dude (important given what I'm about to share).

Caveat two: as you can probably guess, I have a glasses fetish. A massive one. I've had it since an early age; my first crush was on a highly nearsighted girl in sixth grade. I don't know how or why it arose; I myself am fairly nearsighted (-7.50), I don't know if this directly relates to my fetish as I developed it before I got my first pair of glasses (my prescription skyrocketed in high school). I've kept the fetish completely to myself, but it has progressively gotten more "severe." Especially when I discovered self-gratification and eyescene at around 17, it's been a pretty big part of my life and a tempting escape. Tempting quickly became very tempting. As I entered college and my life became more stressful, it got somewhat out of control. I began to masturbate 2-3 times a day, exclusively to instagram/youtube content posted on eyescene; and I found myself constantly fantasizing, even sometimes to my own glasses (which are semi-rimless and thick) and it getting progressively worse, eye exams, etc.

Every time I see "high minus" on Seen on the Web (despite myself: kudos, Jim H.), I just lose control. Again, I can't explain how this started or why it's progressed to this point, but it's a problem. I don't think I need to elaborate further - most veteran users of the site know what it is we're up against :)

Part three: I met my girlfriend about two months ago, which has been amazing. She is slightly nearsighted and wears contacts most of the time; and, as you can guess, I found it very difficult to get aroused at first, even though my brain tells me I have a massive crush on her (and of course we love each other as people). I eventually managed, but I've been barely able to deliver during sex (even while trying to fantasize about glasses during the process), which I can tell has frustrated and somewhat puzzled her. I've cast it off to anxiety/lack of experience, but if this continues it might be a problem. I have never found pornography appealing and have gotten off exclusively on glasses fetish content. With that said, I have, of course, found girls without glasses "attractive" and had sexual thoughts, but they're definitely muted compared to the glasses fetish.

I think you get the drift. Believe it or not, this has become a pretty big problem, both with my girlfriend and with my life. I realize that it's quite ironic to post this on eyescene, but I'm somewhat at the end of my rope. In many ways, I lead a fulfilling life with plenty of interesting stuff happening, but this is such a tempting escape that I just can't control myself. Additionally, it's spawned an internet addiction and I can feel my brain melting away. I just don't know how to deal with this. Get off the Internet? Try to reprogram my brain? Start watching conventional pornography?

Any advice, help, or just thoughts would be MASSIVELY appreciated. You can choose to believe any or all of what I just shared (I'm aware of the paranoia about "fakes"), but hopefully basic human trust will prevail :)

Thanks a lot in advance,

"Jake"


Carrie 12 Dec 2017, 15:18

Weirdeyes - my prescription is sph L+3.25 and R+3.75 and cyl -0.50 L&R.


Lou 12 Dec 2017, 07:44

Hi NNVisitor

Thanks. Sensible advice and what I previously did. After experiencing the dual problem of horrible eye strain without glasses and them seeming too strong if I wore them to a band practice/orchestral rehearsal later in the day, after a day of accommodating without them, my optician suggested wearing them all day from the moment I got up.

Obviously, I take them off to go in the shower etc., which isn't really any different, but since I have been wearing my glasses full-time, I've had no eye strain, and gradually over the course of a week, the problem of my glasses seeming too strong later in the evening resolved to the point that it now occurs rarely, usually specifically after having done a lot of close work.

I have a feeling that presbyopia starting since I am almost 44 and don't yet have a reading add, may be contributing this, as my eye muscles are having to work harder for close work, which exacerbates my tendency to accommodate.

If for any reason, I keep taking my glasses off for extended periods, both issues seem to start up again, I feel my eyes gripping and it takes time to relax my eyes with my glasses on.

For this reason, I'm trying to leave them on as much as possible. Probably heavy rain is one of those situations when it is just not sensible.

I'm not really sure why I have this tendency to try to accommodate over a very small prescription. My optician said that it is probably owing to me being very visually sensitive and trying to see as well as possible all the time. I also feel that there may be some link with me also compensating for convergence insufficiency. Whatever the cause, I get horrible eye strain without glasses.

Thanks very much again.

Best wishes

Lou


NNVisitor 11 Dec 2017, 21:57

Lou

If it's raining a lot outside don't wear your glasses outside in the rain. Once in your car you can put them back on.


Weirdeyes 11 Dec 2017, 17:44

Carrie

How strong are your current glasses again?


Carrie 11 Dec 2017, 14:22

Soundmanpt - I had to laugh at myself for doing that, but I was glad that Gemma was out of the room so didn't see me do it!

I am very fussy about the cleanliness of my lenses so the moment I notice a speck of dust or dirt I have to clean it off immediately. I do this with the little cloth that you get in your case. Every few days I do a very thorough clean with warm soapy water. That is for the whole frame as well as the lenses.

I clean my glasses just as much, possibly more, as I did when I first got glasses.

I also like the feel of my lenses between my thumb and forefinger when I clean them. My lenses aren't very thick but they are thicker than my first ones. This does give me a little tingle inside knowing that they are my lenses.


Lou 11 Dec 2017, 09:41

Hi

I'm not sure quite sure what thread to post this to, so hopefully this one will do.

My regularglasses have the Specsavers UltraClear coating. Not the new one as shown on the link below, but the old style coating:

https://www.specsavers.co.uk/offers/free-ultraclear-superclean-treatment

With the old-style coating, I do find it a bit of a nuisance in the rain. Yes, it does seem to repel water to some extent, but if it is raining fairly heavily, then wiping loads of water off the lenses leaves smudges in the coating,that then have to be carefully wiped off with a good microfibre cloth (personally I've found the calocloth by calotherm to be the best but I digress), which is hardly practical when going in and out of the rain.

This morning, something odd happened to my glasses. I was doing the school run, when a bit of ice or snow fell off a tree and hit the left side of my glasses, resulting in the left lens misting up like it does when you come inside from the cold. It didn't immediately clear, so I had to take off my glasses and hold them in my hand. The lens had cleared by the time I got back to my car, but my glasses were absolutely covered in rain spots. Bearing in mind what I said above, about having to wipe off all the rain with one cloth, then spend some time getting all the resultant smudges off the ultraclear coating with another cloth, I decided to drive home without my glasses, and clean them when I got home in the warm.

In each eye, I have 6/6 vision (UK equivalent of 20/20) without glasses and 6/5 + 1 (basically one further line on the eye chart, plus a letter from the line below) with. Since I technically have 20/20 vision without glasses, although like many others my eyes are capable of seeing better than this, and I see only 20/20 owing to astigmatism, I of course can legally drive without glasses. I was therefore surprised when driving without glasses for the first time in ages, just what difference my glasses usually make, as I found that I couldn't see signs until closer than normal. I suppose that this was to be expected, but with a prescription of only R +0.50 Sph -0.50 Cyl and L +0.25 Sph -0.25 Cyl, which I wear primarily owing to eye strain, I was surprised to notice such a difference.

When I got home, I got out a pair of spare glasses with no anti-reflective coating, which I can easily wipe with any reasonable microfibre cloth.

Best wishes

Lou


Soundmanpt 10 Dec 2017, 09:35

Carrie

Sorry Carrie I had to laugh when I read what you done. But look at it this way, it would have been much worse if you had done that with other people around and they saw you do it. But being alone no harm and no foul only you know how silly that was. But in your defense if you weren't fully awake even with your glasses on your eyes probably weren't open enough for you to see very well anyway. So that is likely why you didn't think you had your glasses on. You only had to reclean the lens you smudged so not like you had to do a complete cleaning of your glasses. Just curious on an average day how often do you clean your glasses? I'm guessing not more than 2 or 3 times a day. Do you remember when you first got glasses? How often were you cleaning your glasses back then? Usually when anyone first gets glasses they feel like their glasses are constantly dirty and need cleaning. I think it's all about getting used to wearing glasses.


Carrie 09 Dec 2017, 17:19

I wasn't sure what category to put this in so I picked this one as it seemed about right.

A lot of glasses wearers, me included, get the "ghost glasses" effect when you think you can feel your glasses on your face when they are not on. I had the opposite today. I forgot I WAS wearing my glasses and went to scratch an itch on my eyelid but of course my glasses got in the way and I put a great big smudgey finger print on the lens!😄

In my defense I wasn't fully awake when I did it so I didn't notice that I could see properly. It was a bit annoying as I had given my glasses a really good clean the night before!


Lou 08 Aug 2017, 13:25

Hi again NNVisitor

Sorry, I meant to thank you very much for sharing your story. I can fully appreciate how you must have felt as a 15 year old, and person in your early twenties.

All the best

Lou


Lou 08 Aug 2017, 13:23

Hi NNVisitor

Thanks very much for your understanding words.

The daft thing is that I am completely comfortable with my appearance in glasses. I feel that I've chosen some frames that suit me, and having worn glasses since the beginning of 2010, I have two self images, one with and one without glasses. I have four different pairs of glasses which I've collected over the years and put my current prescription into, all are a smaller shallower version (owing to my fairly small size) of the plastic style which is currently popular, all are pretty bold, and one pair is even bright red.

My orchestra colleagues have only seen me in glasses, apart from on one occasion when I managed to forget my glasses, and one player asked me if I had gotten contacts or whether I could see ok without, which to be honest, although I didn't mind them asking, made me feel uncomfortable, as I felt that people were looking at me. I therefore feel more comfortable in glasses at my orchestra rehearsals, as I feel that this is how everyone is used to seeing me.

I have only two small worries, the opinion of my husband, who since I started wearing glasses before I met him, is used to seeing me in glasses, but just not full-time. I wore glasses a lot anyway, progressively more as the years have gone on, so in truth he probably hasn't noticed any real difference. Additionally I worry about the opinion of my parents, who view glasses as something which you only wear when strictly necessary, rather than simply for comfort, as in my case.

I think for me the difference is wearing my glasses full-time everyday rather than when I chose to wear them.

Thanks very much again.

Lou


NNVisitor 08 Aug 2017, 11:28

Lou

All glasses wearers have a self perception of how we think we look to others when we're wearing glasses. As one who was self conscious of wearing glasses from day one I often did not wear them. My vision got worse and worse. I adapted to blurred vision and mostly wore my glasses in school classrooms. At 15 years old I travelled to New York City alone by train to visit family relatives without my glasses. During my week long stay one day my cousins wife came up to me and talked about herself preferring to wear glasses. Of course she was indirectly referring to me as I must have shown signs of not seeing clearly.

Seven years later I visited several relatives out of town whom I had not seen for six or seven years including an aunt and cousin who were at the gathering in New York City. On this trip my glasses prescription was -8 astigmatism-1 both eyes. It was the first time any of these relatives would see me wearing glasses. I certainly was self conscious about them. My glasses tinted as that was in styly then and I thought it would hide how strong my glasses were. My glasses were thick to. It was before thinner lenses were available. Not one of my relatives said a word about me wearing glasses. It was quite a relief to me. Bottom line is sometimes we worry too much about our appearance especially with glasses on. To others seeing us it's really no big deal.


Lou 08 Aug 2017, 10:14

Sorry, the last post was from me. I forgot to input my ES Nickname.


 08 Aug 2017, 10:05

Hi Soundmanpt

Thank you very much.

I am happy that no one has asked about why I'm wearing my glasses more now. You are probably right that they have noticed and have decided not to question me. If so, I am glad about that.

No, nothing was said at my family outing. I didn't wear my transitions (reactions), as the weather was overcast.

I do prefer wearing my glasses for two reasons. The first is that without I get horrible eyestrain. My eyes burn like a hot poker is being poked through them. My optician said that the reason for such severe eyestrain with such a small prescription, is that I am really visually sensitive and also really easy to test. Apparently however many times she switches between different lenses in the test room, I always choose the same lens for each eye. She said that I know which lens I like, and demonstrated by lifting up and putting down her own glasses, that by alternating between wearing and not wearing my own glasses, I am effectively doing the same as switching between a lens I like and one I don't. She also said that the results of her objective refraction agreed with my preferences, and that if I had been unable to communicate, she would have made the same choice for me.

The other issue I was having was intermittent inconsistent vision with my glasses later in the day. On days when I hadn't yet worn my glasses, if I put them on for the first time in the evening, sometimes they would seem too strong. My optician said that this was caused by me straining to see and my eye muscles not always fully relaxing when I put on my glasses.

Her advice was to wear my glasses full-time, and it has solved both the eye strain and intermittent inconsistent vision with my glasses later in the day. Since starting to wear my glasses full-time, I haven't had any eye strain and my vision with my glasses now seems the same whatever the time of day, and for this reason, I feel that I have made the right decision. I have also gained greater comfort and can see better at all distances, even if the difference is more along the lines of the difference between a SD and HD television picture.

Thanks again

Lou


Soundmanpt 07 Aug 2017, 19:56

Lou

You should be happy that no one has said anything about why you're wearing your glasses so much more now. My guess is that they probably have noticed but have decided not to question you. They might just assume that your eyesight has gotten a little worse so you're wearing your glasses more than you used to. So was anything said at your family outing about your wearing glasses? If you kept your transitions (reactions) on all day they may just think that you were wearing sunglasses. the main thing is how you feel about wearing your glasses. If you prefer wearing your glasses it really shouldn't matter if you really need them or not. You're not doing any harm to your eyes by wearing them full time and you seem more comfortable wearing your glasses than not having them on.


Lou 06 Aug 2017, 10:49

Hi

I thought that I'd post an update. I've been wearing my glasses full-time for around a month now, and no one has said anything. Since I always wore my glasses when at my orchestra rehearsals or when out with friends, I'm not surprised that they haven't noticed any difference, as there isn't one. I however thought that my parents and sister may have said something, as they are only used to seeing me wearing glasses when calling it on them on the way to and from orchestra rehearsals/gigs, but I have worn my glasses for a couple of small family visits and outings since I started wearing them full-time, and so far nobody has said anything.

It was my parents that I was most worried about. Both my mum and dad have glasses for reading, and later started wearing glasses for driving/tv, but neither of them wear them full-time. My dad has two pairs and my mum has bifocals, which she wears for knitting in front of the tv, reading and driving. Her distance prescription is stronger than my general purpose description, and I imagine that she since she wears a plus prescription for driving and stronger plus prescription for reading, that she would see better if she wore her bifocals full-time.

My parents, my dad in particular, and my mum probably from being influenced by him, are of the impression that glasses shouldn't be worn any more than necessary or they make your eyes worse. Probably with a prescription only for reading that blurs distance vision, they are right, as it probably leads to unnecessary de-conditioning of the ciliary muscles, if a too high reading prescription is worn, or a reading prescription is worn more and/or sooner than necessary, but I don't believe this to be applicable to my small general purpose prescription for astigmatism, which simply in my opinion sharpens my vision slightly and avoids eye strain.

Anyway, since my dad points out to my mum as they get ready to go out,that she has forgotten to remove her glasses, and mum commented on a previous occasion when she saw me wearing my glasses on a non orchestra day, I have been expecting them to say something, and am wondering whether a family outing tomorrow will be the day. Hopefully they won't, as I don't fancy an awkward conversation with my parents who still like to try to tell me what to do, even though I am 43. Since we will largely be outside for most of the day, I think that I will wear my reactions, which they may think I am wearing as sunglasses and not bothering to remove when I go indoors.

I did go and try lots of different frames on, but didn't find anything that I really liked more than the glasses I have already, so will stick as I am, until I find a little more subtle pair that I really like. I am quite happy with my current bold plastic frames, but fancy something a little more subtle for more dressy occasions along the lines of a semi-rimless pair I wish that I had kept hold of.

Best wishes

Lou


Lou 11 Jul 2017, 02:59

Hi Soundmanpt

Thank you very much for your reply, and words of support.

I wasn't particularly bothered about my optician suggesting that I wear my glasses full-time, as I was wearing them a lot anyway.

What seems different to me, is when I first put my glasses on. Previously I was waiting until I went out and drove, or did something in particular, so wouldn't wear my glasses at all on days I didn't leave the house, and on other days, I wasn't putting them on until the afternoon. Now I'm putting them on as a matter of routine when I get dressed in the morning.

Although no one outside my home would notice any difference, I am wondering slightly about my husband seeing me full-time in glasses, as he was used to me wearing glasses sometimes and not others at home. In all honestly, wearing glasses full-time himself, I don't think he really minds. He didn't react when I told him what the optician advised.

The other thing that slightly bothers me is my choice of glasses. I have three pairs with anti-reflection coating and one pair of reactions, owing to having had some older ones I liked re-glazed (which wasn't very expensive as my previous change in prescription was to only one eye, so I could have two pairs re-glazed for the price of one), and although I feel that these suit me and I spent quite sometime choosing them, because I never planned to wear them full-time, I limited my budget more than I would now. Maybe if I had paid more, I wouldn't have found anything I liked better. This is probably purely psychological, hence my choice of thread.

Thanks very much again.

Lou


Soundmanpt 10 Jul 2017, 10:42

Lou

Your glasses history really is much like many others. You're certainly not the first one to procrastinate getting their first glasses and you won't be the last. And since you weren't used to seeing yourself in glasses you didn't think that you looked good in any of them. Again very normal. But slowly, you like others, found glasses that suited you. For convenience sake even though you only needed your glasses for distance you started keeping your glasses on even when you didn't need them. So of course your eyes were going to become more and more used to them. So even though you wear your glasses what most would consider as full time it seemed to bother you when at your eye appointment your optician advised you to wear your glasses full time. But the truth is even if you weren't told that you were still going to be wearing your glasses full time anyway. You just didn't like the fact that you were being told to wear them. I do get where you're coming from but try not to let it bother you since nothing has really changed including your prescription which didn't change.


Lou 09 Jul 2017, 02:32

Hi

Hopefully this is the best thread for this post.

I've been wearing glasses with a small prescription since the beginning of 2010, after finally having the confidence to visit an optician after years of vision difficulties.

At first I didn't think that glasses would suit me and couldn't find any I liked but once I had found styles that suited me, I didn't mind wearing glasses and now have a few pairs I really like and feel comfortable in.

For the last few years, I've worn distance prescription glasses for basically doing things, driving, music (I'm an orchestral musician), computer, reading, but since I can see better with them on at all distances, I haven't bothered taking them off in between. For example, I've never seen the point of wearing my glasses to drive to my orchestra rehearsals, taking them off to walk across the car park, putting them on again to read the music, taking them off for coffee/lunch breaks, when I can see better if I leave them on. Once I put my glasses on, I tended to leave them on for the rest of the day.

I also used to wear my glasses for lunch with friends, as I'd get eye strain and feel that I was staring at them to focus as we sat and chatted. Ditto for meetings I attend.

I'd say therefore that if you asked my colleagues and friends they would say that I had worn my glasses full-time for years, as they never see me without glasses.

However it was only at my last eye appointment, at which although my prescription has not changed, my optician suggested wearing my glasses full-time owing to the eye strain I was getting when I wasn't wearing them.

Although out of the house nobody has noticed anything different, and I wore my glasses a fair amount in the house also, my family are not used to seeing me wear glasses all day everyday at home, and this is making me feel a little uncomfortable.

Nobody has said anything or seemed to notice anything, probably because I wore my glasses two thirds of the time anyhow, it just feels different to me.


 02 Jul 2017, 02:55

* Imagine diagnosing a major VISION PROBLEM from reading some entries on an internet discussion board. Done so by an anonymous observer whose only seen tidbits of someones experiences and feelings. *

I don't think the anonymous poster said he is schizto, he/she said should seek mental help. i can see why. complete personality change is definitely not something handled by rank amatuers. it is not public speaking trauma.

This is a very biased group here. they want to see everyone wear glasses so the answer will always be wear glasses, glasses, and make sure you wear glasses. aAll the time. All day. Everywhere. doctor advice should be mountains and rivers better than groupie obsessed i know everythings on a sex fantasy glasses webisight.

on the other hand everyone here will always I have no problem with the issues raised. It seems like this has become a stalker board now. People here are sneaking around all the social websights, porn cam websights, spending all day typing internety searches to find glasses, making up fake names and stories. omg people who want to make eyes blurry weith surgery and such and such and such. It sounds very desperiate and depraved.

i think if you are posting more than 10,000 characters a week inclduing links, something is wrong with your real life you are avoiding comeing here. think about.


Maxim 01 Jul 2017, 15:40

Dear anonymous,

I have carefully read your statement.

I am convinced, you have written it in good intention.

But, however, I am convinced, that our friend Mel does not suffer from schizophrenia. His problem is not as complex as schizophrenia would be.

Hestating to wear glasses in public is in my opinion the same inner barrier, like a four year old child feels, when he has been singing a favorite song a hundred times in the family, and now the proud Daddy asks him or her to do the singing in front of a 100+ persons wedding party. He or she will be shy, and probably, he or she can't sing tihere.

Some weeks ago, I have been describing my behaviour - in certain circles (university teaching assignment) I was not ready to wear the glasses needed, and for many years, I had been wearing contacts, with suboptimal vision results.

Wearing glasses was not as 'fashionable' as it seems to be today, was it the female students whom I wished to impress as a 'strong man not dependent on glasses, with "perfect vision"? I don't know the answer.

I feel, these approaches are just natural.


NNVisitor 01 Jul 2017, 10:04

Imagine diagnosing a major mental illness from reading some entries on an internet discussion board. Done so by an anonymous observer whose only seen tidbits of someones experiences and feelings.

Yes some people get anxious about being in certain situations. Such as speaking before a large audiance. Being seen in public wearing their glasses by people who have never seen them wearing them before. No these are not signs of a major mental illness. Many people wear contact lenses for the above stated reason and probably so because they have been judged negatively or believe they will be.

As for pictures and videos uploaded on the internet. Don't publicly post any pictures or videos that you want to keep private. Once uploaded, even on Snapchat, they are no longer private.


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