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Psychology of Glasses

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Lou 08 Aug 2017, 13:25

Hi again NNVisitor

Sorry, I meant to thank you very much for sharing your story. I can fully appreciate how you must have felt as a 15 year old, and person in your early twenties.

All the best

Lou


Lou 08 Aug 2017, 13:23

Hi NNVisitor

Thanks very much for your understanding words.

The daft thing is that I am completely comfortable with my appearance in glasses. I feel that I've chosen some frames that suit me, and having worn glasses since the beginning of 2010, I have two self images, one with and one without glasses. I have four different pairs of glasses which I've collected over the years and put my current prescription into, all are a smaller shallower version (owing to my fairly small size) of the plastic style which is currently popular, all are pretty bold, and one pair is even bright red.

My orchestra colleagues have only seen me in glasses, apart from on one occasion when I managed to forget my glasses, and one player asked me if I had gotten contacts or whether I could see ok without, which to be honest, although I didn't mind them asking, made me feel uncomfortable, as I felt that people were looking at me. I therefore feel more comfortable in glasses at my orchestra rehearsals, as I feel that this is how everyone is used to seeing me.

I have only two small worries, the opinion of my husband, who since I started wearing glasses before I met him, is used to seeing me in glasses, but just not full-time. I wore glasses a lot anyway, progressively more as the years have gone on, so in truth he probably hasn't noticed any real difference. Additionally I worry about the opinion of my parents, who view glasses as something which you only wear when strictly necessary, rather than simply for comfort, as in my case.

I think for me the difference is wearing my glasses full-time everyday rather than when I chose to wear them.

Thanks very much again.

Lou


NNVisitor 08 Aug 2017, 11:28

Lou

All glasses wearers have a self perception of how we think we look to others when we're wearing glasses. As one who was self conscious of wearing glasses from day one I often did not wear them. My vision got worse and worse. I adapted to blurred vision and mostly wore my glasses in school classrooms. At 15 years old I travelled to New York City alone by train to visit family relatives without my glasses. During my week long stay one day my cousins wife came up to me and talked about herself preferring to wear glasses. Of course she was indirectly referring to me as I must have shown signs of not seeing clearly.

Seven years later I visited several relatives out of town whom I had not seen for six or seven years including an aunt and cousin who were at the gathering in New York City. On this trip my glasses prescription was -8 astigmatism-1 both eyes. It was the first time any of these relatives would see me wearing glasses. I certainly was self conscious about them. My glasses tinted as that was in styly then and I thought it would hide how strong my glasses were. My glasses were thick to. It was before thinner lenses were available. Not one of my relatives said a word about me wearing glasses. It was quite a relief to me. Bottom line is sometimes we worry too much about our appearance especially with glasses on. To others seeing us it's really no big deal.


Lou 08 Aug 2017, 10:14

Sorry, the last post was from me. I forgot to input my ES Nickname.


 08 Aug 2017, 10:05

Hi Soundmanpt

Thank you very much.

I am happy that no one has asked about why I'm wearing my glasses more now. You are probably right that they have noticed and have decided not to question me. If so, I am glad about that.

No, nothing was said at my family outing. I didn't wear my transitions (reactions), as the weather was overcast.

I do prefer wearing my glasses for two reasons. The first is that without I get horrible eyestrain. My eyes burn like a hot poker is being poked through them. My optician said that the reason for such severe eyestrain with such a small prescription, is that I am really visually sensitive and also really easy to test. Apparently however many times she switches between different lenses in the test room, I always choose the same lens for each eye. She said that I know which lens I like, and demonstrated by lifting up and putting down her own glasses, that by alternating between wearing and not wearing my own glasses, I am effectively doing the same as switching between a lens I like and one I don't. She also said that the results of her objective refraction agreed with my preferences, and that if I had been unable to communicate, she would have made the same choice for me.

The other issue I was having was intermittent inconsistent vision with my glasses later in the day. On days when I hadn't yet worn my glasses, if I put them on for the first time in the evening, sometimes they would seem too strong. My optician said that this was caused by me straining to see and my eye muscles not always fully relaxing when I put on my glasses.

Her advice was to wear my glasses full-time, and it has solved both the eye strain and intermittent inconsistent vision with my glasses later in the day. Since starting to wear my glasses full-time, I haven't had any eye strain and my vision with my glasses now seems the same whatever the time of day, and for this reason, I feel that I have made the right decision. I have also gained greater comfort and can see better at all distances, even if the difference is more along the lines of the difference between a SD and HD television picture.

Thanks again

Lou


Soundmanpt 07 Aug 2017, 19:56

Lou

You should be happy that no one has said anything about why you're wearing your glasses so much more now. My guess is that they probably have noticed but have decided not to question you. They might just assume that your eyesight has gotten a little worse so you're wearing your glasses more than you used to. So was anything said at your family outing about your wearing glasses? If you kept your transitions (reactions) on all day they may just think that you were wearing sunglasses. the main thing is how you feel about wearing your glasses. If you prefer wearing your glasses it really shouldn't matter if you really need them or not. You're not doing any harm to your eyes by wearing them full time and you seem more comfortable wearing your glasses than not having them on.


Lou 06 Aug 2017, 10:49

Hi

I thought that I'd post an update. I've been wearing my glasses full-time for around a month now, and no one has said anything. Since I always wore my glasses when at my orchestra rehearsals or when out with friends, I'm not surprised that they haven't noticed any difference, as there isn't one. I however thought that my parents and sister may have said something, as they are only used to seeing me wearing glasses when calling it on them on the way to and from orchestra rehearsals/gigs, but I have worn my glasses for a couple of small family visits and outings since I started wearing them full-time, and so far nobody has said anything.

It was my parents that I was most worried about. Both my mum and dad have glasses for reading, and later started wearing glasses for driving/tv, but neither of them wear them full-time. My dad has two pairs and my mum has bifocals, which she wears for knitting in front of the tv, reading and driving. Her distance prescription is stronger than my general purpose description, and I imagine that she since she wears a plus prescription for driving and stronger plus prescription for reading, that she would see better if she wore her bifocals full-time.

My parents, my dad in particular, and my mum probably from being influenced by him, are of the impression that glasses shouldn't be worn any more than necessary or they make your eyes worse. Probably with a prescription only for reading that blurs distance vision, they are right, as it probably leads to unnecessary de-conditioning of the ciliary muscles, if a too high reading prescription is worn, or a reading prescription is worn more and/or sooner than necessary, but I don't believe this to be applicable to my small general purpose prescription for astigmatism, which simply in my opinion sharpens my vision slightly and avoids eye strain.

Anyway, since my dad points out to my mum as they get ready to go out,that she has forgotten to remove her glasses, and mum commented on a previous occasion when she saw me wearing my glasses on a non orchestra day, I have been expecting them to say something, and am wondering whether a family outing tomorrow will be the day. Hopefully they won't, as I don't fancy an awkward conversation with my parents who still like to try to tell me what to do, even though I am 43. Since we will largely be outside for most of the day, I think that I will wear my reactions, which they may think I am wearing as sunglasses and not bothering to remove when I go indoors.

I did go and try lots of different frames on, but didn't find anything that I really liked more than the glasses I have already, so will stick as I am, until I find a little more subtle pair that I really like. I am quite happy with my current bold plastic frames, but fancy something a little more subtle for more dressy occasions along the lines of a semi-rimless pair I wish that I had kept hold of.

Best wishes

Lou


Lou 11 Jul 2017, 02:59

Hi Soundmanpt

Thank you very much for your reply, and words of support.

I wasn't particularly bothered about my optician suggesting that I wear my glasses full-time, as I was wearing them a lot anyway.

What seems different to me, is when I first put my glasses on. Previously I was waiting until I went out and drove, or did something in particular, so wouldn't wear my glasses at all on days I didn't leave the house, and on other days, I wasn't putting them on until the afternoon. Now I'm putting them on as a matter of routine when I get dressed in the morning.

Although no one outside my home would notice any difference, I am wondering slightly about my husband seeing me full-time in glasses, as he was used to me wearing glasses sometimes and not others at home. In all honestly, wearing glasses full-time himself, I don't think he really minds. He didn't react when I told him what the optician advised.

The other thing that slightly bothers me is my choice of glasses. I have three pairs with anti-reflection coating and one pair of reactions, owing to having had some older ones I liked re-glazed (which wasn't very expensive as my previous change in prescription was to only one eye, so I could have two pairs re-glazed for the price of one), and although I feel that these suit me and I spent quite sometime choosing them, because I never planned to wear them full-time, I limited my budget more than I would now. Maybe if I had paid more, I wouldn't have found anything I liked better. This is probably purely psychological, hence my choice of thread.

Thanks very much again.

Lou


Soundmanpt 10 Jul 2017, 10:42

Lou

Your glasses history really is much like many others. You're certainly not the first one to procrastinate getting their first glasses and you won't be the last. And since you weren't used to seeing yourself in glasses you didn't think that you looked good in any of them. Again very normal. But slowly, you like others, found glasses that suited you. For convenience sake even though you only needed your glasses for distance you started keeping your glasses on even when you didn't need them. So of course your eyes were going to become more and more used to them. So even though you wear your glasses what most would consider as full time it seemed to bother you when at your eye appointment your optician advised you to wear your glasses full time. But the truth is even if you weren't told that you were still going to be wearing your glasses full time anyway. You just didn't like the fact that you were being told to wear them. I do get where you're coming from but try not to let it bother you since nothing has really changed including your prescription which didn't change.


Lou 09 Jul 2017, 02:32

Hi

Hopefully this is the best thread for this post.

I've been wearing glasses with a small prescription since the beginning of 2010, after finally having the confidence to visit an optician after years of vision difficulties.

At first I didn't think that glasses would suit me and couldn't find any I liked but once I had found styles that suited me, I didn't mind wearing glasses and now have a few pairs I really like and feel comfortable in.

For the last few years, I've worn distance prescription glasses for basically doing things, driving, music (I'm an orchestral musician), computer, reading, but since I can see better with them on at all distances, I haven't bothered taking them off in between. For example, I've never seen the point of wearing my glasses to drive to my orchestra rehearsals, taking them off to walk across the car park, putting them on again to read the music, taking them off for coffee/lunch breaks, when I can see better if I leave them on. Once I put my glasses on, I tended to leave them on for the rest of the day.

I also used to wear my glasses for lunch with friends, as I'd get eye strain and feel that I was staring at them to focus as we sat and chatted. Ditto for meetings I attend.

I'd say therefore that if you asked my colleagues and friends they would say that I had worn my glasses full-time for years, as they never see me without glasses.

However it was only at my last eye appointment, at which although my prescription has not changed, my optician suggested wearing my glasses full-time owing to the eye strain I was getting when I wasn't wearing them.

Although out of the house nobody has noticed anything different, and I wore my glasses a fair amount in the house also, my family are not used to seeing me wear glasses all day everyday at home, and this is making me feel a little uncomfortable.

Nobody has said anything or seemed to notice anything, probably because I wore my glasses two thirds of the time anyhow, it just feels different to me.


 02 Jul 2017, 02:55

* Imagine diagnosing a major VISION PROBLEM from reading some entries on an internet discussion board. Done so by an anonymous observer whose only seen tidbits of someones experiences and feelings. *

I don't think the anonymous poster said he is schizto, he/she said should seek mental help. i can see why. complete personality change is definitely not something handled by rank amatuers. it is not public speaking trauma.

This is a very biased group here. they want to see everyone wear glasses so the answer will always be wear glasses, glasses, and make sure you wear glasses. aAll the time. All day. Everywhere. doctor advice should be mountains and rivers better than groupie obsessed i know everythings on a sex fantasy glasses webisight.

on the other hand everyone here will always I have no problem with the issues raised. It seems like this has become a stalker board now. People here are sneaking around all the social websights, porn cam websights, spending all day typing internety searches to find glasses, making up fake names and stories. omg people who want to make eyes blurry weith surgery and such and such and such. It sounds very desperiate and depraved.

i think if you are posting more than 10,000 characters a week inclduing links, something is wrong with your real life you are avoiding comeing here. think about.


Maxim 01 Jul 2017, 15:40

Dear anonymous,

I have carefully read your statement.

I am convinced, you have written it in good intention.

But, however, I am convinced, that our friend Mel does not suffer from schizophrenia. His problem is not as complex as schizophrenia would be.

Hestating to wear glasses in public is in my opinion the same inner barrier, like a four year old child feels, when he has been singing a favorite song a hundred times in the family, and now the proud Daddy asks him or her to do the singing in front of a 100+ persons wedding party. He or she will be shy, and probably, he or she can't sing tihere.

Some weeks ago, I have been describing my behaviour - in certain circles (university teaching assignment) I was not ready to wear the glasses needed, and for many years, I had been wearing contacts, with suboptimal vision results.

Wearing glasses was not as 'fashionable' as it seems to be today, was it the female students whom I wished to impress as a 'strong man not dependent on glasses, with "perfect vision"? I don't know the answer.

I feel, these approaches are just natural.


NNVisitor 01 Jul 2017, 10:04

Imagine diagnosing a major mental illness from reading some entries on an internet discussion board. Done so by an anonymous observer whose only seen tidbits of someones experiences and feelings.

Yes some people get anxious about being in certain situations. Such as speaking before a large audiance. Being seen in public wearing their glasses by people who have never seen them wearing them before. No these are not signs of a major mental illness. Many people wear contact lenses for the above stated reason and probably so because they have been judged negatively or believe they will be.

As for pictures and videos uploaded on the internet. Don't publicly post any pictures or videos that you want to keep private. Once uploaded, even on Snapchat, they are no longer private.


 01 Jul 2017, 01:31

Mel you should seek professional mental health assistance. it seems you may have borderline schizophrenia. also a very unhealthy obsession.

don't worry. you are not alone. the same can be said for many people on this web page. as long as it is safe and secure, it is good.

but sometimes they do things that could get them into deep trouble if they were caught. some people here have posted borderline pedophiliac pictures of little girls in glasses to satisfy their sexual obsession. also there is the stealing of videos/pictures from women's instagram/facebook/twitter without their personal permission and reposting here strictly for their sexual fetish gratification.

people who are not in the optometric field should not be giving advice/buying glasses for others here. your eyes are very precious and their care should not be entrusted to a group of sexually deviant individuals regardless of their knowledge base.

i say this anonymously because this can be a very venomous population with an almost religious like obsession. but i've often thought eye site should have a special link for people in need of serious professional mental health attention.

it might be something good to consider.


Lentifan 30 Jun 2017, 14:00

Mel

I can only speak from my own experience. I am much older than you and I was aware of my fetish much younger than you appear to have been. Looking back, I would have loved to have the opportunity to wear glasses with a prescription of -7.75. I did not realise I needed glasses until I was around 40 years of age, when I suddenly realised I was short-sighted. I got glasses which I at first wore only outside for a few years. Then I found I could not read and watch TV at the same time. Presbyopia had set in and I got progressives, which I then started to wear indoors and out. I became much happier.

Don't misunderstand me. I still ogle girls with strong glasses; I still wish my partner (and I) were much more myopic; I still have the disease. But I feel much more content that I am now seen as a person who wears glasses and I like my appearance in glasses. I now also wear hearing aids, but that' another story.

My advice, for what it's worth, is just bite the bullet and wear your glasses in public. After a day or two it will be no big deal. If you need an excuse, you can say your contacts are bothering you and you have to switch to glasses. If it makes it easier, you can get hi-index lenses for your 'coming out' glasses and then change to CR 39 which will give you much more satisfyingly thick lense, especially with rimless or semi-rimless frames. You will feel much more content. The OO condition will not go away, but you will no longer feel a fraud for not practicing your beliefs - an OO who's afraid to wear glasses. Just do it. You won't regret it.


30calcat 30 Jun 2017, 07:21

Mel,

Sometimes I wonder if we become victims of our own optical obsession. Your fear that your self image will be completely transformed if you start wearing glasses becomes highly magnified because of your obsession. If glasses, in general, are a big deal to you, than any personal change to wearing glasses is going to naturally be a big deal.

If you let fear dominate your obsession, then you may be heading down the road of relative isolation, in a closet, about something that is important to you. It is apparently important enough that you are willing to discuss it at length with the community here. Do you have a girlfriend? A secret obsession can be damaging to a long term relationship.

It is probably in your best interest to get past the fear and channel your obsession towards positive interactions with those around you. Posting in this community is a start, but as you have seen this place is a free for all. Do you want a girlfriend who wears glasses? How will you ever express to her that you like the way she looks in glasses, when you won't even wear glasses yourself? I would be wondering if your words are sincere.

Tactically, I suggest that you get together the motivation to confront your immediate fear of wearing glasses, recognizing that you are making it to be a much bigger deal than it really is. Practice good responses to what you think will be awkward interactions. "Why didn't you wear glasses before?" "I have always worn contacts, but I got a new pair of glasses that I like wearing better." And if it turns out that there are people who see you in a more negative light, that is their loss. You are still the same person, and if they can't be a friend to you just because you prefer glasses instead of contacts, maybe that is good riddance. On the other hand, you may be the small motivation that a friend needs to feel comfortable wearing glasses, because you are showing that it is cool.


NNVisitor 29 Jun 2017, 19:03

Mel

It's hard to significantly change our personality. An introverted person can become less introverted but will always be an introvert. Our self image is highly influenced by our unconscious which is affected by our life experiences. I can understand how you feel about wearing your glasses in public. I've certainly been self conscious about doing so however I really havn't experienced more than some infrequent insults or rude comments about my glasses or my vision. I've come to realize that to most others it's no issue. Lots of people wear glasses even strong ones. I really feel that most people we interact with won't like us any less because we wear glasses.


Mel 29 Jun 2017, 15:21

Warning before I start: this will be a very long rant for selfish purposes. I decided to post in this little-used thread so that those who want to read it can do so, without hijacking the main threads.

I'm a lurker and I've posted a few times about my glasses/various other topics, but this will be a post of a different kind. I have several major frustrations about my obsession with glasses, so I'd like to share my story and I would appreciate any feedback/help. In some regards, I am just at wit's end.

I'm a male college student in the U.S., in my early twenties (I will keep details deliberately vague for privacy; my name is not Mel or anything similar). In most regards, I am what you would consider fairly normal: I get good grades, I have nice friends, I have several extracurricular activities I've pursued throughout my life (and I've become fairly good at one of them); overall, I consider myself a happy person and I look forward to the future.

Now, onto the meat: like many here, I don't know how, when, or where my optical obsession began. What I do know is that I discovered that I was getting increasingly nearsighted around 10 years old, and about 1.5 years or so thereafter got my first pair of glasses, the prescription was about -2.

Now, onto the embarrassing/weird part: I still didn't realize my optical obsession when I first got glasses (I was still very young), but I categorically refused to wear my glasses. I cannot rationally explain it, but I just couldn't bring myself to wear them; I would look at myself in the mirror and cringe with disgust. Now, in all other aspects I'm not particularly vain; sure, I care about my appearance, but with glasses it was like some sort of disease. Every time my parents made me put my glasses on, I turned into a shadow of myself: I would become rude and incredibly shy and would take every opportunity to take my glasses off.

This continued up until I got contacts, at 15, when my prescription was already -4.25. As you can guess, I wore my contacts constantly, and my prescription continued rising. Sometime around 17, I discovered that I was an OO (again, I can't pinpoint the day it happened: I think it was a gradual realization) and I was extremely attracted to ladies in glasses (strictly minus). Yet, the weird part: despite my obsession, I STILL was incredibly shy about wearing glasses, and would essentially only wear them at home when no one was looking (not even my parents).

Jump to the present day: my prescription is now at -6.75 with about -.75 of astigmatism, and my latest glasses, which I posted about in the Lenses forum, are Semi-rimless (here is the updated photo I posted there: https://postimg.org/image/u11mjsr53/).

Like many here, I'm obsessed with thick minus glasses, and I thought that a nice, thick semi-rimless pair would turn me on and help me get rid of my fear of wearing glasses (funnily enough, I posted in Lenses for "confirmation" that my glasses indeed look thick, but it doesn't seem like too many eyesceners are impressed :) Unfortunately, it hasn't really happened: I still wear my contacts almost all the time and feel very, very self-conscious with glasses on. Very few of my friends even know I wear glasses (in college, I'd only wear them in my room; I would always wear contacts, even when I would go late into the night), and now my fear has been compounded by a scenario I keep visualizing: I suddenly appear in thick glasses, and I can't help but fear that those around me will be put off (they'll ask me why I didn't wear glasses before, they might see me in a different light, i.e. as a big nerd, etc.).

Anyway, my eyesight has gotten a lot worse over the past year and I anticipate my prescription rising to -7.75 or so; I'm tempted to order a semi-rimless pair from Zenni (similar to what I have now) in standard index, they should be a centimeter thick or so.

If you've managed to wade through this rant, I would appreciate any and all sound advice regarding my situation. Any kind of psychoanalysis, helping me understand my fear, advice, etc. would be much appreciated. Ideally, I would switch to glasses around 75% of the time, and wear contacts for sports, special events, etc., but right now I just cannot see that happening.

TL;DR: OO but cannot bring myself to wear glasses.


Maxim 11 Jun 2017, 15:50

SORRY -

the last contribution should read "to Dany",

I'm the sender.

I'm too tired after a long day, and so I confused things here.


Dani 11 Jun 2017, 15:46

For me, it took more than thirty years to accept wearing glasses.

On one side, I always was eager to wear glasses. At the university, I wore glasses, when I did not need them (tried to induce myopia). At 26 or 27, it turned out, that I had worn approx. minus 2.00 for years, but I really needed + 2.50 (I was hyperop = farsighted, not myop = nearsighted). I only wore glasses in the office (I could not work without), but I had a teaching assignment at the university, and there I did not wear glasses - I took contact lenses in the so called monovision approach. That is one eye corrected for near vision, and one eye for distance vision. In my case, it was Right eye + 2.50, left eye (near) +4.50.

I did this between 27 and 61 years approx. Then I changed my exployer, and from one day to the other I completely changed to a fulltime glasses wearer. The main reason was, that I suffered more from certain problems with the contact lenses (dry eyes together with car climatization), and that the right eye had developed an astigmatism of 2.00 diopters. The prescription was + 4.75/-2.00 cyl now.

The interesting thing is, that I, deep in my mind, was eager to glasses weaaring. When travelling to region, where nobody knows me (quite often on business travel - say once a month), I wore strong plus contact lenses (+8.00) and corresponding to my hyperopia, minus glasses at approx. -5.00 / -2.50 monovision for one eye distance, one eye near vision.

That's my glasses wearing history.

I have been a fulltime wearer now for approx. ten years, and I love it to wear glasses now - bifocals or varifocals, and sometimes gambling with GOC.


antonio 11 Jun 2017, 12:21

discuss it with us on https://lenschat.com

dani,

best regards, antonio


Crystal Weil 11 Jun 2017, 11:19


Soundmanpt 11 Jun 2017, 06:59

Dani

You pose an interesting question. A question that has no one answer. How have you felt about seeing others wearing glasses. I mean when you see another woman wearing glasses do you usually think they look really cute wearing glasses or think they would look better without glasses? Did you ever wish that you needed glasses? A lot of how you feel about wearing glasses now is based on what you have thought of wearing glasses in the past would be like. Also are these glasses your first glasses as well? That makes a big difference as well. Because if these are your first glasses it is understandable that it might take a bit longer for you to get used to how you see yourself wearing glasses. Also you need to remember even without knowing your age you have only been wearing your glasses full time for about a month but you for all those past years you have been looking at yourself in the mirror without glasses on your face. So you just haven't fully accepted the fact that you're wearing glasses now, but I think slowly as you get more comfortable wearing your glasses you will start to accept how you look wearing glasses. I'm sure you don't look in the mirror and find yourself any less attractive but just different than before you started wearing glasses. The taking your glasses off for pictures will also slowly stop happening once you realize that any pictures of you without your glasses on isn't really your everyday look anymore.


Dani 11 Jun 2017, 02:25

How long does it take for you to get used to seeing yourself in glasses? I've been wearing them full-time for a month and yet, I can't accept the bespectacled girl staring back at me in the mirror is me. She still looks like a stranger. Plus, I always take off my glasses for photos. When does the mental image of yourself get superseded by the one of yourself wearing glasses? How long did it take others on this forum?


guest 25 Feb 2015, 05:41

Hi Ellen

Haven't heard from you all on email....

Lenschat princess?Are you coming over?


Ellen 25 Feb 2015, 04:21

Confused,

That's a strange question to ask but I suppose understandable given your experiences. I do concur with Melyssa though. Both my partner and I are very highly myopic and neither of us has ever been diagnosed with depression. Maybe you're just attracted to the type of girl who exhibits traits commensurate with bipolar or other types of depression such as BPD?

Ellen


 24 Feb 2015, 21:13

Jerk yourself fuckhead...

It was a joke.


 24 Feb 2015, 19:19

Coach...jerk!


 24 Feb 2015, 18:49

What is the cheerleaders "couch?


Soundmanpt 24 Feb 2015, 17:57

Sadly back when I was in school not only were the teachers boring but they were usually pretty old and far from good looking. Now the teachers often are hard to tell from the students. I know several very attractive teachers and they all either wear contacts or glasses.

Last year one them even ordered glasses from me. She totally surprised me when I met her because she was working as a server in a sports bar meaning she had to wear an outfit much like what Hooter girls wear. When she told me that she was not only a teacher but she taught high school history and was also the cheerleaders couch. No doubt that meant she was probably a cheerleader when she was in high school as well. She got married later that summer and never returned to her server job.


Melyssa 24 Feb 2015, 13:41

Confused: It's bad dates. I know a man who is married to a woman with a -9.00 prescription, and he tells me that she has inner beauty to match her outer beauty, and that being married to her is the greatest thing he's ever done. By some coincidence, that woman who wears close to 50 pairs of glasses spells her name the same as you see in front of the date and time of this post. :)


Melyssa 24 Feb 2015, 13:37

Likelenses: I was not that teacher. But had I been one, I would have worn three pairs of glasses a day, matching the color of the frames with the color of my dress. Of course, had I married someone in the optical field instead of a CPA, I would have had 100 pairs of glasses instead of close to 50. :)


Likelenses 22 Feb 2015, 21:20

When I was in the seventh,or eight grade in school,I had a teacher that was very pretty,and had most likely only been a year or so out of college.All of us young boys were in love with her.

The best part as far as I was concerned,was that she wore really strong minus glasses.

I don't recall if she announced it to the class,or if we found out some other way,but we learned that she had become engaged to a local optometrist.

Shorty thereafter she showed up in a different pair of glasses every few days. If my memory serves me correctly,it seems like she must have had thirty pairs of glasses that school year.

Later she married the optometrist,and disappeared from teaching.

Now fast forward to the present.For the past four or five years I have casually known a late fifties married couple.

He wears minus glasses of minus 3.50,or 4.00 in a rather generic frame,but she on the other hand must own twenty pairs.

She is tall ,thin,and very attractive,with a sexy self confidence,and her Rx must be minus 15,or so. Most of her frames have been expensive, small,to medium rectangular,and some of her lenses are most likely CR-39,as they are much chunkier than some of her others.

Last week she was sporting a pair of expensive looking wayfareer type frames,with disappointing high index lenses,but due to her age they may be a first pair of progressives.

On several occasions I have wanted to compliment her on her eye wear,but have not as her husband seems to hover around her kind of protectively,and they both know that I am a single guy.She is more outgoing,and verbally friendly than he.

I am pretty sure that he is OO,and he may suspect that I am also because he has probably noticed me checking out his wifes eye ware.


Soundmanpt 22 Feb 2015, 18:46

Crystal Veil

I'm sure you're right about at least a fair number of opticians having more than just the "it's a job" interest in glasses. For many years now, actually more than 40 in fact I have been in a non profit vision group that works to help those that are on low incomes and can't afford to get eye exams and glasses. At one time I was picking up donated glasses from about 35 optical stores, I have slowed down and now only collect from 22 locations near my home. In my early days of doing this I ofter came across really old gold semi-rimless glasses that were nothing more than 2 temples and a bridge piece screwed right into the glasses lenses. I couldn't help but notice the great detail work on the temples and once in a conversation with an older optometrist he told that not only was the frame real gold but the etching on the very thin temples was done by hand. These glasses were really pieces of art. Anyway I at first always just turned them because I was happy that someone in need was going to be getting them. One day I was chatting with someone higher up than I was and I commented about the gold glasses and how someone was getting a real treasure. He laughed and said that they never use those glasses and they only melted them down for the gold content and in many cases it wasn't very much because this was before gold became so expensive. I was shocked that these beautiful glasses were being destroyed so from then on I made a point to pull them out before they could be turned into scrap. After a while I had quite a few of them. A few years passed and I still had them and I well recall telling a young optician at a high end optical store about all of these glasses and how beautiful they were. She asked to see some of them. So the next time I was there making my pickup I remembered to bring in a nice selection of some of the nicer ones. She was truly excited to see these glasses because she had only seen glasses like these in pictures. She went through them all and tried many of them on after figuring out how to put on glasses with cable temples. She loved them so I told her she could have one if she wanted. You would have thought I was giving her a car or something. She went through and decided she liked a certain pair more than the others. She said she was going to have clear lenses made for them so she could wear them. But she admitted that the pair she picked out the lenses weren't all that strong. I made pickups about every 3 weeks and on my next pickup to her store she was in fact wearing my gifted glasses. I told her that she looked really nice wearing them. I asked her if her lab had any problem with drilling new lenses for her and she said she had decided that they really weren't that strong and she could see fine wearing them. She said she loved wearing nice fluffy sweaters and she thought wearing glasses would complete the look. After that I found even more that wanted those antique glasses. One girl made a display with them by taking an old book and opening it to around the center and placing the glasses opened in the middle of the pages. Another put them on a doll she had. Another optician that wanted to wear them with her prescription ruined tons of lens blanks trying to put notches where the temples had to slide over the lens. The problem was this was way before high index lenses and she had a rather strong prescription so she was trying to notch them by hand and it took many tries before she got them made. Sadly to be honest they really didn't look all that good with such think lenses. it wasn't long until I only was left with a few. I kept one pair that was made in 1943 and it is in mint condition. The really odd thing is that the rx is only +.25 in both lenses. I have a few more but they aren't nearly as nice.

Also you might be surprised at how many opticians enjoy over correcting themself. Back then I didn't know nearly as much about optics as I do now. One optician I now realize was without a doubt inducing myopia, other opticians called her a plastic addict because they knew she was always increasing her prescription over what she was prescribed by her doctor. I think that was the biggest benefit she got from being an optician because she could order her glasses in any prescription she wanted.


Soundmanpt 22 Feb 2015, 17:59

Revolver and astigmaphil

First off I am straight. If you had asked me my opinion of gays and lesbians 5 or 6 years ago you would have gotten a far different response from me. I think for some reason I had the idea that they were somehow so different that I could have easily spotted a gay person miles away. But it only took a young lesbian woman to change my feelings. She was and is very much out there, but she is she is also one one of the sweetest young ladies you could ever meet. She is a bartender and the patron's are all on the younger side and mostly male. Everyone that sits at her bar loves her and would not hesitate to come to her defense if she ever needed it. That was what changed my views. by the way she is very attractive and so is her mate.


confused. 22 Feb 2015, 12:49

I know this may sound crazy but has there even been a study done or any type of link found between people with high myopia and bipolar/depression? I only ask because my ex wife ( she ran off to battle her demons and attempt suicide 3 times and I took her back until I had enough) she was a minus 7.5. I dated another girl briefly and she could wig out at a minutes notice. Minus 6. another girl I dated basically the same thing minus 6.5 and my last encounter when the phone rang I never know if i had dr jekyl or mr hyde. All these girls confessed to me as having been diagnosed with ADHD/ Bipolar/ Manic depressive. I have a huge thing for high minus girls but have yet to find a sane one. is there a connection or just a string of bad dates for me? The weird thing was they all were pretty cool with my glassesfetish, hit me here or maybe an email. vaclassiccars@yahoo.com


 22 Sep 2014, 10:37

There are several women I know that I can talk about my interest in glasses with as well as one male friend who also wears glasses. We can talk about gwg or just wearing glasses, but other people I know have no interest and I know not to bring it up.


Crystal Veil 22 Sep 2014, 10:33

I would not be surprised if a minority within the vast group of opticians around the globe share our fascination with people in glasses without "coming out". Over the years, only one employee confessed to me that he had a glasses collection himself and that he sometimes took a pair of glasses from the boxes for the Third World in the shop. He probably felt safe to mention this to me.


Millhouse 22 Sep 2014, 04:40

- astigmaphile,

Only once have I ever mentioned my gwg interest to a female wearer I was keen on- to my cost - she totally freaked out over my admission and we never met again. So here (eyescene) is for time being my only accepted online retreat , not forgetting Crystal veil too of course and the thoughts, musings and comments of our other like minded global posters.


astigmaphile 21 Sep 2014, 10:37

I think that there is much more acceptance of the LGBT community that for unusual interests. Quite a few of my friens know of my obsession with ophthalmic optics and don't seem to be upset with it. In places where I think that it would cause trouble, I keep my mouth shut.

What I really hope , is that I never get coaght trying to figure out someone's spectacle correction. It is a favorite hobby. I have done it since grade school and I am now 68 years old.


Revolver 21 Sep 2014, 10:14

Carrie made an interesting comment on the Sightings thread to the effect that being gay has much more acceptance than having a fetish. That has long been my thought and wonder how others feel. Homosexuality by both genders seems to have almost universal acceptance, that's not to say that straights necessarily like it and sure don't want to engage in it but do accept it.

Would like to hear what others think, and in particular, ask the gays and lesbians if because of their sexual preferences they are more accepting of fetishes than straights.


Soundmanpt 13 Sep 2014, 10:32

continued

The web site is "zennioptical.com" You should be able to get your husband's glasses with the thinnest lenses and the AR coating (anti-reflective) for between $55.00 and $75.00. For your daughter as long as she is less than say -5.00 her glasses should be less than $25.00 and the same for your son.

If you were to decide to get glasses fro your self and you don't want fake ones you can order a pair with -.50 lenses which will actually just give you slightly better than 20/20 vision. This is is what your optometrist would prescribe you if you were to claim that you were having some problems with seeing clearly after dark while driving. just be sure to also get the $5.00 option of the AR coating which you would like because there wouldn't be any glare on your glasses which help make them very comfortable to wear.

Hope all this helped in some ways.


Soundmanpt 13 Sep 2014, 10:23

Mystery wife

No wonder you couldn't see much with your husband's glasses. His prescription is considered in the strong range by quite a bit. Anything over -7.00 is what they consider to be "strong"

Your intentions were good but it is very hard to order glasses for someone as a surprise. But I can give you some pointers that should help if you ever order glasses fro him, your daughter, son or yourself. Measure a pair of their glasses that fit them well across the face portion from the outside left to the outside right in millimeters. Then when your looking on line most of them will give an "overall width" just compare as close as possible and they should be a good fit. Also with such a strong prescription like that of your husband you should get the lens option of "high index" 1.67 option. With Zenni this option is an extra $35.00 but should make them much thinner. Also you didn't say how were able to get his rx for the glasses you ordered, but I hope you didn't use the rx off his contact lens packets. If you did his glasses are a little bit weaker than they should be. Because his contacts sit directly on his eyes and glasses sit about 3/4" away from his eyes his glasses need to be slightly stronger than his contacts. My guess is his glasses should be somewhere around -14.50.

Ordering glasses on line is completely safe if you go to places like Eyebuy Direct and Zenni Personally i really prefer Zenni and have used them for well over 10 years.


 13 Sep 2014, 08:50

My husband wears glasses but never to work or outside the house. He is very self conscious about them and hates wearing them. I've tried them on and it is quite a debilitating feeling. I can't see anything except for a big blur and can't walk 4 feet without almost falling down. He has told me besides the look of them he can't stand the lack of sight outside the glasses. His contact box says -13.75. Not sure how bad that is but by judging his glasses I would say it is pretty bad.

I used his prescription and bought him glasses online as a surprise a couple of years ago and didn't realize how much goes into selecting them. They came in and we laughed when he opened them up. They filed the edges flat and they looked very different from his pair. Thinner but there are circles inside the lenses and his skin reflects on the corners. He just started wearing them about 6 months ago when his other pair got an eggshell crack when he basically tossed them down after putting in his contacts one morning. I keep telling him to get another pair but he always opts for contacts because of insurance. Don't think it matters I think he only wears them 30 minutes a day. I'm not an optometrist but I know that's not good.

Our daughter seems to inherited his vision. She got glasses at 4 and has 6 month check ups and every time there has been an increase. She's now 7 and we are both a little worried. But she takes it well and it doesn't phase her a bit. She looks so cute in them and she wears them proudly from sun up to sun down. Although she needs to do a better job of cleaning them sometimes. Smudge city. We keep hoping for the appointment that says no change but it hasn't happened yet. Children are expensive and our insurance only covers 1 pair a year. I've considered online but not ready to trust overseas manufactures just yet.

Our son seems to inherited most of my 20/20 vision. He wears glasses to school to see the board but the doctor told me it is very mild and doesn't have to wear them all the time. He is 10 now so he is almost in the clear.

Anyway I didn't marry him for his vision. I knew he wore contacts when when we first met but hadn't seen him in glasses until we were dating about a year. I was a little surprised how thick they were and how small his eyes were. But by that time it really didn't matter. I adored him and thought he handsome with or without. I don't think it would of mattered if he was wearing them. The first couple of weeks our personalities gelled right away.

Sometimes I wish I wore glasses so I wouldn't be the oddball in our family. Not really, maybe just a very weak pair. My husband jokes putting my eyesight into the gene pool was a good thing for generations to come. I've heard him apologize to my daughter and I don't like it much. He shouldn't feel guilty just because his family had inherent bad eyesight. Hence why I came here under the psychology title to help understand it. Didn't see much but just thought I would share.


Soundmanpt 13 Sep 2014, 07:58

Tim H

She clearly likes you so without being too pushy you maybe able to slowly convince her to wear her glasses on other dates where it's just you and her. this will get her more comfortable about wearing her glasses. I'm sure she is not used to wearing her glasses out in public much if ever. She may feel less attractive wearing glasses and for her this was probably like the first day she got glasses and had to wear them for for that first time. You just need to keep reassuring her that she is just as beautiful with her glasses on as she is without them. Just be don't ever tell her that she looks better with glasses than without.


 12 Sep 2014, 20:03

It's to bad she doesn't wear her glasses more often so she wouldn't be as self conscious when she is forced to wear them. Since she wears contact lenses all the time, it probably is like wearing glasses for the first time every time she wears them in public. A friend of mines wife is -9.75 and -9.50 and usually wears contacts, but at least once a week she wears her glasses to work so everyone sees her in them and she doesn't feel weird or self conscious when she has to wear them. I've gone out with them when she has worn her glasses out in public and nobody looks at her any differently than they do to anyone else wearing glasses, it's to bad your gf doesn't realize it. Maybe with your help she will.


Tim H 12 Sep 2014, 11:48

I've just started dating a girl with a very strong prescription who wears contacts (-8.75) all the time. She showed me her glasses the fourth time I stayed the night at her place and they were stunning (and very strong). She was having some irritation with her contact one night when we met friends at a bar so I urged her to wear her glasses, which she surprisingly agreed to! She's usually really social and bubbly and talks to everyone. But this night she was so shy and reserved. One of my friends complemented her on them and she said a quiet thanks and looked down. She was so shy the entire night. I could tell she was self conscious about her appearance in them. She even kept pulling her hair forward as if to cover the sides. It's sad because she looked beautiful, they highlighted her face and her eyes.


agilpro 09 Sep 2014, 09:05

bensmith

The myopic girl was probably 21 or 22 at the time and "wore" glasses that were very thick well over 1/2" thick and I was told by her boyfriend that she was in his words "severely nearsighted" and was embarrassed to be seen in her glasses and used them only when she absolutely had to. I met her while she was visiting my aunts vacation home on the water and the only time in the three days she was seen in her glasses was when we picked her up in the boat. As soon as we got on dry land she took them off and did not put them on again until she left. She was basically blind without them and would feel hand over hand to go anywhere if she was not with her bf. She also had no self esteem and you would have to drag anything out of her and it would come mostly in yes or no answers. Where we were it was dangerous to be going around without her glasses, especially at night: she had to navigate up and down 126 concrete stairs to get from the main house to the boathouse where she was staying and several times she fell or knocked things over. The sad part was she was good looking and didn't look to bad in her glasses.


Millhouse 09 Sep 2014, 05:05

- Bensmith

Your prescription is a little below mine (-7./-6.5)

I use high index lenses , about 1.6 as I seem to recall. Even so the edges come out quite thick on my current frames which are semi-rimless.

Your thoughts on low confidence being a wearer are nothing to worry about, I have found over the years (I'm 51 now) that women (or men for that matter) will be drawn to you by your inner confidence and glasses .

I believe that in past relationships I've had my gf's had a history of dating men in glasses, for example previous bf's or husbands had worn them, ( I got shown photos etc) or that they liked the clark Kent thing- whatever. My point is this; many women are very attracted to men in glasses, they will let you know one way or another, sometimes in subtle ways, anything anyone else tells you or advises you otherwise is not worth a jot. I months years trying to get used to contact lenses so I could go to a night club and get laid, or be a pick up guy on a night out. I know now what works for me, just be confident, friendly, and enjoy yourself. If you have a gf or wife then that's great but try not to waste emotional energy on negative thoughts about your appearance. I sure as hell don't.

I'm a guy who seeks out gwgs myself- so it seems obvious to me that women also seek out guys too- keep your eyes open when out and about and you'll see what I mean, they will keep training their eyes on you, peaking back and forth. You'll see. That's the trick that works for me- go up , chat, smile. Engage in conversation.

Peace to all. Long live GWG's O^O


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